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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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chav watch
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WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!

Im back for the holidays and it seems that the whole of Warrington has been taken over by Chavs! you cant move for them. if anyone doesn’t know what a Chav is here is a description from the oxford advanced learners dictionary

Chav /tæv/ noun (BrE, slang) a young person, often without a high level of education, who follows a particular fashion: There are always loads of Chavs hanging round the shopping centre. Chavs usually wear designer labels, and if they’re girls, very short skirts and stilettos. Chavs still see branded baseball caps as a status symbol and wear them at every opportunity.
adj. [only before noun]: The bus was full of Chav kids. Chav girls with their big gold jewellery

other names for Chavs are townie, scally, ned and charver.

if you are still having trouble with defining a chav, here is a picture that may help you...



anyway they seem to have taken to hanging around our town centre causing endless trouble.

what i want to know is, is this happening elsewhere in the country or is it just here in the north west? we need your help in determining just how bad this situation is getting so that we can determine what action can be taken.

only you can save mankind!!!



-- Edited by inlowercase at 21:18, 2004-12-20

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shymike


I don't vote Tory!

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there was a really cute scally in the factory i was working in today. (they need the money to soup up their vauxhall novas). he was telling me about how he got banned from driving for two years for not having any insurance.

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ChipsAndLube


Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine.

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i feel for you mate. i grew up in liverpool

but yeah i really have a thing for chavs - scallies - kiddas - charvers - call em what you like. they're goooooooorgeous!

x

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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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i know the name of a good psychiatrist would you like it?

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thaidave


Not Thai Dave

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hehehe!

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shymike


I don't vote Tory!

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i want everyone who owns a car, or knows someone who owns a car, or knows what a car is, to promise me something. every time you're driving along and notice a band of merry chav girls, wind down your window, lean out, and yell as loudly as you can SCRUBBERS! at them. they love it.

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yongee


Forum Addict

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we used to call them Gary's and Sharon's in Suffolk..

anyway i think they r extremely sexy especially wen they walk around with their hands down their trousers *blush*

they are actually alright bunch of ppl once u get to know them! i used to hang around with those all the time when i was doing GCSEs.. oh the shame!

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thaidave


Not Thai Dave

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Back in my native home, Lancaster... i am a bit of a cyclist freak... Whenever i go along the cycle path there are loads of townies.

Its like Blazing Squad bowling....

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Laura


Vodka! Books!

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well im from great harwood, townie central! or scally or chav or wotever u wanna call em, seen more in the last day than ever in leeds! bt this is north west an this is great harwood, i expect lil else

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Adam


*Censored*

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they are called pikeys around here, as we are gypsy infested where i live. and they are wankers and they are slowly taking over, the chav to normal ratio is getting dangerously even

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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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I would just like to comment mike on a wonderful use of a withnail and i quote there. i couldn’t agree more. that’s the thing to do! also if your going to drink drive and shout at Chavs this Christmas you should fashion a device out of a tube and s fairy liquid bottle that can store unadulterated child’s p!ss when you get stopped by the police refuse anything but a urine test and then fill the cup with your child’s urine. Bobs your uncle you get off with it. And I know that works cos Richard E Grant told me and he wouldn’t lie!!!!


"scrubbers! Go on darling throw yourselves into the road!"

sorry about this post i think that the boredom of the north west is getting to me!

-- Edited by inlowercase at 22:57, 2004-12-20

-- Edited by inlowercase at 23:00, 2004-12-20

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thaidave


Not Thai Dave

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I love that film!!!

"I will have you boy even though it may be by burglary!"

A rug-rap line to inspire our officer

Hail! Nickidyke! xxxx

-- Edited by thaidave at 00:46, 2004-12-21

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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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1.What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.

2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted.

3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.

4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight
of stairs.

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

7. If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to run him
over? It might be your bike.

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.

11. 2 Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.

12. Where do you take a Chavette for a decent night out?
Up the gary!

13. What do you call a chav with half a brain?
Gifted.
14. What do you call chavs with a brain?
A crowd.

15. When do chavs cross the road?
When its safe.

16. What do you say to a Chav?
Big Mac with fries please

17. What happens to a thought in a chavs head?
It dies of loneliness !!

18. What do you call a chav in a suit?
The accused



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don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
ChipsAndLube


Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine.

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why is a chavette like a washing machine?

they both drip when they're fúcked



and how do you know when she's come?

she drops her chips

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shymike


I don't vote Tory!

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quote:
Originally posted by: shymike
"there was a really cute scally in the factory i was working in today. (they need the money to soup up their vauxhall novas). he was telling me about how he got banned from driving for two years for not having any insurance."


my cute pikey had to leave early today to go and see his probation officer. charming fellow.

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NickyDyke85


YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

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Speakin of chavs i aint been in ritters (chav cave, its meant 2b a bar) 4 ages, mite have 2 drop in wi a can of petrol n get my 8th lifetime ban from the place... chezzy chavs r wimps they square up2u n run off cryin when u offer them first punch

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richardyoung71


*Censored*

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Chav Test

I got 30%

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Adam


*Censored*

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21%

i feel unclean


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Phil


I didn't buy it!

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38%

oh yeah, like whatever.

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thaidave


Not Thai Dave

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61% Chav
67% Gay

Although i do think that this test discriminates against Northeners in general with the questions asked.
I bet southern chavs don't call "dinner" "tea" whereas normal northeners call it "tea" regardless.....

Maybe i'm just upset that i scored so high,
or getting over the shock that my 15 year old sister is now engaged to a 19 year old chav going by the name of "Damo". (Unfortunately this is true)

Well, with all 3 boys in the family turning out to be gay, at least i know that my sister will have lots of offspring..... sorry, children.

Many children, a council flat of her own, all the white lightening she could ever drink... sigh*

It's a good life really.....
Can't believe i scored so high, even though i used to be a chav... does this make me a chav convert? or a chav in the closet?
I'm so confused......

-- Edited by thaidave at 11:04, 2004-12-23

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NickyDyke85


YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

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16% Chav... mite have 2 drop in2 ritters 2day with my chavette sister

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shymike


I don't vote Tory!

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28%
while not a very large number, methinks 28 is still a bit dubious. i knew i shouldn't have gone to spar last night.

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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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15 percent chav. i wonder which fifteen percent it is??? if i hack of my arm do think that is about 15 percent?

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Adam


*Censored*

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The faint strains of babycakes you just don't know know can still be heard from Thai Dave's devonshire flat if you walk past when he thinks no1 is around

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PeterJ


Dame Poofy

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Chavs in the city centre
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re: Chavs in Warrington Town centre...
It's Warrington.

It's halfway to Liverpool.

How did it surprise you?

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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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RE: chav watch
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it wasnt this bad when i left!

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don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
PeterJ


Dame Poofy

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Chav Test
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I've taken the test.
Congratulations, PeterJ, your chav rating is 14%.

Have you ever referred to pudding as 'dessert' or 'sweet'?
Well, seeing as the correct term is 'dessert', maybe that's a just a tad misguided.

Do you call your Grandmother your 'Nan'?
No, I call her dead.

lol @:
Do you know anyone that has been on 'Trisha'?
That must be about 45% chav points straight away!

Have you ever referred to a loo as a 'toilet'?
Yes. That's what it's called.

Was your education paid for by the tax-payer?
Yes. All Grammar Schools are here in Trafford.

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PeterJ


Dame Poofy

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hmmm
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I demand a recount of my Chav Rating!

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NickyDyke85


YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

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RE: chav watch
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lol

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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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i see your anger there pete but im sure that you got off lightly as we all know that you are a grand master chav at heart.


love ya!

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EmilyL


Hallo, My Name's Goody

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Dave fantasises about Chavs and secretly wishes he was one!!

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NickyDyke85


YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

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we all know that since he chose chavs over cheese

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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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he he just found these new meanings in the dictionary.

Chavalcade 1. n. A town centre procession of souped -up, clapped-out astras, corsas and xr3i's driven by a motley assortment of scratters, neds, pogs, ratboys and burberry apes. 2. n. A pram pushing convoy of the above on the way to greggs.


Chavrolet n. Urban underclass motor vehicle, normally a lower-end production model souped up to f*ck with alloy wheels, blue downlights , spoilers, tinted glass, laughably loud sound systems etc.


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don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
NickyDyke85


YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

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lol they really in dic?

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PeterJ


Dame Poofy

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Silly Bint
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Of course not, unless it's a slang dictionary.

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Adam


*Censored*

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RE: chav watch
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Actually, it is being entered in2 the dictionary 4 2005, though really that should be posted in the random facts secttion. Apparently the original meaing of chav is an abbreviation of Cheltenham Average.

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EmilyL


Hallo, My Name's Goody

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45% !!!

Should I cry?

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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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yes and then you should whip yourself!

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don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
EmilyL


Hallo, My Name's Goody

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gosh, it sounds very kinky..

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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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welcome to chavdom!

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don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
EmilyL


Hallo, My Name's Goody

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I'm so excited to be here!..Now where's Dave..

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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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i bloody knew it! warrington is the chavtown of the north!

http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=624

and this proves it!

oh god why can i sleep? id rather be dead than awake at this hour!

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don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Phil


I didn't buy it!

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quote:
Originally posted by: Adam
"Actually, it is being entered in2 the dictionary 4 2005, though really that should be posted in the random facts secttion. Apparently the original meaing of chav is an abbreviation of Cheltenham Average."


lol, i read that too. in the times i think it was. or chav comes from the word Roman (i think) word 'chavvy' (or somet, cant actually remember) meaning child.

xx

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NickyDyke85


YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

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chavs r jus kids anyway, they jus seem 2 think they r harder n cooler than other kids... wear the burberry n get in a crappy little bitch slappin fight at their local footy matches, then brag bout it 2 mates when they r playin round in little souped up cars later on

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inlowercase


I caught you a delicious bass.

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you can imagine the joy on my brothers face when he came down on christmas morning to unwrap his burberry aftershave!


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JohnK


Pieces of me you've never seen

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A classic chav moment happened today.

There was these two posh cars parked outside where I worik - one was a red Ferrari, very nice, and one was this mingin chaved up car witha lizard (yes lizard scale) effect paint job.

These chavs cam past and were like 'Thats fukin wicked, Ear Are, take a pic wit ya camra fone daz'. Then along came the people who owned the ferrari and the chavs asked if they could carry on takin pics.

It was the most embarrassing thing I have seen all week.

Except this snob woman fall down the escalotor.





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Phil


I didn't buy it!

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quote:
Originally posted by: inlowercase
"you can imagine the joy on my brothers face when he came down on christmas morning to unwrap his burberry aftershave!
"


hey dont go dissin burberry aftershave. burberry brit is lovely. oh dear, i think i have leaked too much information

xx

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EmilyL


Hallo, My Name's Goody

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It was Chav day in London today..They were all over the place.. At Victoria train station...On my train to Wallington!.. Great stuff.. !!

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NickyDyke85


YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

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Matchdays in chesterfield... Chav heaven, full of little tossers in burberry, then theres been under 18's in zanzibar 2nite, all ****ed on cider n been searched, gr8 2 watch

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thaidave


Not Thai Dave

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