I Magret the bear is woefully going to inform all of you loyal subejcts thhat one hathhh toppeled off of ones wagom, tonihgt one haas comsumed an entire bottel of Montilla Sherry along whith a tonne of smack and one msut admitt that one ****ing adores being smacked off ones tits like one used ot be fuor months ago whilst thorouhgly njoying a mighty fine spit-roasting prvoided by mister paddington bear and one hafl blind bastard knwon as pudsey bear, the lattre was adirrty littel **** who jsut loved to whack pingu up my rectum jsut liek a lubed up fist uuntil one one came al ovre hwolign like a horny cow. unfotunitley one became addictted to smack, hrad rough sex and sherry which led to ones demisss form being a filthy whit slapper and rehbilitaition. staiyng claen has proved a chllange, tonight ahs finaly maed one break, fruity was just tooo much adn one is exteremeley upser tthat there was not one ****ing pice of fruit there. **** it one is off to purrchase a lamb keebab and have a wank.
Edit: Oh my dears what must you all think of me now. I am most terribly sorry for making such a post on this forum, but I believe that this may serve as a warning for other members of the society. I would like to think that my terrible experience can serve as a warning to all of those who agree to accept a drink from Nic, that glass she gave me contained more than a small white wine I am sure. However I apologise, because I paid her well for all substances to be put into ones drink, one was contemplating raping one of the five paris hiltons, however one became muddled between my drink and the drink meant for paris. After that one vaguely remembers an incident with David. For now my dears I must depart unto the laundrette to clean ones bed sheets and crack fur because one fears that the combination of several drugs, alcohol and a lamb kebab smothered in chilli sauce caused one to spectacularly lose control of ones bowels
dear oh dear. was that you my sweet who was smoking crack in the disabled bogs in the union last night? i rapped thrice but you would not permit me to join you and partake of your bounty.
as for the lamb kebab: marge, dear, what were you thinking? you know you'll end up with the trots. you should have come back to mine for a fortune cookie. my bowels feel reet, but i did wake up at 9am this morning upside down on the sofa with my jeans round my ankles.
thanks to one and to all who sojourned in the kindom of fruit yester eve. i believe we shall make more merriment there anon, although next time i'm gonna paste some chavstress' shrivelled face across the dancefloor and mash her titties into the discojuice with my cha cha heels. *spit*
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burn down our home, RAPE OUR DEAD MOUTHS. Just as long as I don't have to hear anymore of your disgusting babble
In defence of me yeah, she paid me 2 sort her adrink out 4 paris, i wasn't after bears last nite... just that minger wi trout pout n old lady clothes on, wudda been so satisfyin 2 nut her & the security tossers 4 that matter.
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
