LGBT MUSICAL!!!!!!

shymike · I don't vote Tory!

LGBT MUSICAL!!!!!!

shymike · I don't vote Tory!

this is my contribution, telling the heart warming story of the flowering of love between margaret and fairie, despite murderous impulses, kidnapping, and abu-hansa-ification of margaret's paw.
it is, obviously enough, to be sung to the tune of the ballad of john and yoko.

The Ballad of Margaret and Fairie

Margaret:
Standing at the dock in Helsinki
Trying to get to Holland or France
The man in the mack said you’ve got to go back
Polar bears aren’t welcome that way
Christ you know it aint easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
I’ll have to swim the North Sea

Fairie:
Finally made her way up to Leeds
Welcomed in the LGBT
The places she’s been, and her marauding kin,
I thought that she wanted me dead
Christ you know it aint easy
You know how hard it can be
I was mistaken
Not all bears want to kill me

Margaret:
I said I’d forgive and forget
We stayed in our bed for a week
Everyone said, say what you doing in bed?
I said we’re only trying to get us some peace
Christ you know it aint easy
You know how hard it can be
What is so wrong?
You know I love my Fairie

Fairie:
Just as our love was getting under way
There on a hard park bench

Margaret:
On went the blindfold
Out came the gun
I was kidnapped by a trophy hunting wench

Fairie:
I screamed and I shouted for help
As my darling bear was whisked away
The police, they came, they feared the same,
Margaret would be put on a plinth
Christ you know it aint easy
You know how hard it can be
The fate of my bear,
It would be taxidermy

Margaret:
I managed to escape from my captor
He did awful things to my paw
I’d been defiled, my wrong’un took,
And now I have a hook for a claw
Christ you know it aint easy
You know how hard it can be
The way things are going
They’re gonna crucify me

Fairie:
It’s not all that bad,
That hook so does it for me

Adam · *Censored*

Thats beautiful.

I can't write words, only music so if someone writes a gay song i will write music for it if u really like.

JohnK · Pieces of me you've never seen

Here's a song inspired by last nights cinema trip:

LGBT - FÚCK YEAH
HERE TO CONVERT THE MOTHER-FÚCKIN BREEDERS
LGBT - FÚCK YEAH!

(repeat lots of time with lots of guitars and ****! - fúck yeah!)

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

That shud definatley b the theme!

jus a reminder of the hole again lyrics

If u c me standin on the street
legs apart offerin u a treat
dont jus pass me by
get me against the wall n gimme a try
u can fill my hole again

And if u c me with another man
suckin n blowin doin wot i can
i wont gulp it down
i'll spit it on the ground
u can fill my hole again

lookin back on where we first met
i'm still horny n so very wet
baby ur the 1 u still turn me on
u can fill my hole again

stick ur fingers in my part
ride me rough, call me ur little tart
work it 4 a while, then **** me wild
u can fill my hole again

(chourus)

Come quikly i cant wait
screw me til i lose my mind
dont b 2 late
cos i cant hold on
shag me all nite long
f***in fill my hole again

(chorus)
(Chorus)

oh baby ur the 1
u still turn me on
u can fill my hole again

lizbian · Posting Addict

LESBIAN, LESBIAN, WHAT AREN'T THEY FEEDING YOU#LESBIAN, LESBIAN, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

THEY WON'T TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR
THEY'RE TURNING YOU INTO A BREEDER
LESBIAN, LESBIAN, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

:)

shymike · I don't vote Tory!

quote:
Originally posted by: lizbian
"LESBIAN, LESBIAN, WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING YOU?"

tofu burgers and rose hip tea

-- Edited by shymike at 13:08, 2005-02-03

ChipsAndLube · Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine.

quote:
Originally posted by: lizbian
"LESBIAN, LESBIAN, WHAT AREN'T THEY FEEDING YOU?
:)"

houmous, pumpkin seeds and organic bananas.

EmilyL · Hallo, My Name's Goody

Me and Laura also have a very special duet that must be included entitled 'Whose Is The Bag?!'...
'Whose Is The Bag'
'What's In The Bag'
'Where Is The Bag'
and...'There Is The Bag'

are the main themes of the song... and Adam and Phil provide backing vocals with lines like 'The Bag is Mine', 'No it's not it's Mine', 'Say it is not so, for it is mine' etc!

Quality.

ChipsAndLube · Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine.

ten fat lezzas, tryin to pick a fight,
ten fat lezzas, tryin to pick a fight
and if one fat lezza
should get banged up tonight
there'll be 9 fat lezzas
tryin to pick a fight.

ad nauseam

EmilyL · Hallo, My Name's Goody

Dave... that brought a tear..

ChipsAndLube · Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine.

just cos you're a fat lezza x

EmilyL · Hallo, My Name's Goody

I knew you wrote the song about me!!

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

the bag song n 10 fat lezza's r boooooootyful songs. This un is not anywhere near as good as hole again, but itsabout pullin sum1 who thinks that they r amazing in bed when they r actually **** & the trauma it puts u thru, is dedicated 2 sum dickhead from huddersfield who used 2 call havin a wank, havin a frap, she was ****.

Tragedy

Here, I lie in a lost n lonely part of town,
wastingtime waiting 4 this tosser 2 go down,
going home,
I can have better sex on my own,
I really shud b havin fun, havin fun,
getting laid, getting laid

(Chorus)
Tragedy,
when ur partners so crap u gotta frap
its tragedy
when u zip down ur flies n ur partner cries
its hard 2 bear
when ur partners so bad at pleasing down there
tragedy
when u give them control and they cant find the hole
its tragedy
when u zip down ur flies n ur partner cries
its hard 2 bear
when ur partners so bad at pleasing down there
when ur partners so crap u gotta frap

Night & day
theres a burning down inside of me
burning need
i need a good rapping baby
down my hand goes
told u i can have better sex on my own
i really shud b havin fun, havin fun
gettin laid, getting laid

(Chorus)

shymike · I don't vote Tory!

*runs to the toilets to vomit*

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

must b good then if ur gippin

ChipsAndLube · Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine.

it's a long way to the meeting room
it's a long way to go
it's a long way to coffee hour
to the warmest minge i know

good bye christian union
ow do nic my love
it's a long long way to find my darling
but she fits me like a glove.

ChipsAndLube · Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine.

we wish you a happy fisting
we wish you a happy fisting
we wish you a happy fisting
and a pleasing orgasm.

ChipsAndLube · Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine.

maybe it's because i'm a lesbian...

lizbian · Posting Addict

why are all these songs mean to lesbians! i feel the need to resurrect the songs about dave!

dave's a breeder
dave's a breeder
dave's a breeder
breeder dave

dave is smelly
dave is smelly
dave is smelly
like a goat

dave has crabs
dave has crabs
dave has crabs
itchy dave

dave is balding
dave is balding
dave is balding
insert hair here

and he's fat
and he's fat
and he's fat
big fat dave

now he's dole scum
now he's dole scum
now he's dole scum
poor dole scum dave

sung with love wife :)

Adam · *Censored*

I have written a song for the scene in which our heroine Nic laments her imprisonment after a night in Mission goes horribly wrong.

Rug Rap in the 1st Degree (Complete with 80s hairstyled backing singers)

Last night I was in Mission
On the lookout for a fisting
When I woke up I was screaming
With handcuffs on my wrists

Whoa and the judge and the jury
They all put the blame on me
The undercover cop I pulled
Was drugged with GHB

(Chorus)

Only you can set me free
'Cos I'm guilty
Guilty as a dyke can be
Come on baby can't you see
I stand accused of rug rap in the first degree
Guilty
Of rug rap in the first degree

This morning, I can't believe it
Whilst I fisted my rug rapped whore
In there up to my elbows
When cops burst through the door

The hours pass so slowly
Since they've thrown away the key
Can't you see I need fisting
Won't you set me free?

Chorus

Guilty of love, guilty of rug rap in
Guilty of love, guilty of rug rap in
Guilty,
Of rug rap in the first degree

Whoa and the judge and the jury
They gave me 15 years
I guess i've learnt my lesson
About drugging people's beer

Chorus x3

JohnK · Pieces of me you've never seen

In a flashback sequence however, we find that Nic and the undercover cop were once lovers and in homo, the cop sings Nic a sultry love song to entrap her:

I Want Rug-Rap

My cúnt has suddenly grown cold
And really I just can’t stop complaining
There’s no more rug-rap, you said goodbye
You took the rap, without explaining.

How could you go
How could you go
You had a fist that made my minge grow o o o

Stop
Come on and break me in

I want Rug Rap
Come shove it right in me
I want Rug Rap

I want Rug Rap
Fist me till I want to pee
I want Rug Rap

If I can make you see only you can fill the need in me

If you walk away you'll regret it someday please stay!

This hole is full of memories and
You have left a space inside me
Because of all the fisting pain
and all your sov’s you lefinside me

I want Rug Rap
I want Rug Rap

You had a fist that made my minge grow.
Stop
I need your fist again

I want Rug Rap
I know you have Ro-Hip on You
I want Rug Rap

I want Rug Rap
Up my arse until I pooh
I want Rug Rap

If I can make you see only you can fill the need in me

If you walk away you'll regret it someday please stay!

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

Lmao they r brilliant!

Adam · *Censored*

Every fist you make - Sting and the Police

Every fist you make
Every virginity you take
Every orgasm faked
Every drunk mistake
I’ll be watching you

Every single fist
Every submerged wrist
Every clit you've kissed
Even when you're ****ed
I’ll be watching you

Oh, can’t you see
I wanna perv on thee
How my poor heart breaks
With every fist you make

Every minge you munch
Every clit you crunch
Every fist filled brunch
Every fishy lunch
I’ll be watching you

Since you’ve gone ive been lost without your ****
I dream at night I still have you back and front
I look around but it’s your minge baby that I want
I feel so cold and I long for you to make me grunt
I keep crying baby, baby, please...

Oh, can’t you see
I wanna perv on thee
How my poor heart breaks
With every fist you make

Every fist you make
Every virginity you take
Every orgasm faked
Every drunk mistake
I’ll be watching you

Every orgasm faked
Every drunk mistake
I’ll be watching you

I’ll be watching you
I’ll be watching you
I’ll be watching you
I’ll be watching you...

ChipsAndLube · Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine.

that's eerie. the 'watching you' bit, that is. i can just imagine nic with her binoculars ogling some poor str8 girl through her bedroom window, planning how she will strike...

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

how the hell do u know wot i get up2 a clarence dock? Except its not Breeder girls i perv on, my kitchen windows look directly in2 Evie & Sarahs rooms... its all good!!!!

ChipsAndLube · Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine.

a finger of fudge is just enough to give the little ginger kiddies a treat

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

that ur pullin technique?

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

Recent speak of this thread & well a special song that me n Emily have made together, has given me the urge 2 bump this thread...

Don't ya

Don't cha wish ur girlfriend had crabs like me
dont cha

Don't cha wish ur girlfriend was a twat like me
dont cha

Don't cha wish ur girlfriend was a minger like me
dont cha

Don't cha wish ur girlfriend had a cock like me
dont cha

Don't cha wish ur girlfriend.... (insert whatever you want here) like me
Don't cha

Its a great piece for improvisation

AlbyFC · You best sima!

Christ Almighty! If Oscar Hammerstein II saw this thread, he'd be glad he's been dead for the last forty years!!

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

We've so gotta script this out n perform it! Newbies.... if u have any made up lyrics feel more than free to add them! the more disgusting the better

Adam · *Censored*

Alice, do you still have the words for **** the Pope away?

MrDarcy · Dame Poofy

please can we compile and take this to the edinburgh frindge next year!!!!!!!!

AliceH · Butter Me Up!

Adam wrote:

Alice, do you still have the words for **** the Pope away?

Only too happy to oblige, my royal gingerness. I wonder how long it'll take before this thread is deleted.

Fuck the Pope Away - to the tune of 'Fuck the Pain Away' by Peaches:

Suckin' on my rosary and I wanted you,
Bumming me, all the time like John Paul II
Check out my stylin' toupee
It's good to be a gay
Like sex on the pulpit,
What else is in the teaches of Benny? Huh? What?

Suckin' on my rosary and I wanted you,
Bumming me, all the time like John Paul II
Check out my stylin' toupee
It's good to be a gay
Like sex on the pulpit,
What else is in the teaches of Benny? huh? what?

Huh? Right. What? Uhh.
Huh? What? Right. Uhh.
Huh? What? Right. Uhh.
Huh? What? Right. Uhh.

SIC HIV, shag in church coz it's the best.
HIV SIC, shag in church coz it's the best.
HIV SIC, shag in church coz it's the best.
HIV SIC, shag in church coz it's the best.

Suckin' on my rosary and I wanted you,
Bumming me, all the time like John Paul II
Check out my stylin' toupee
It's good to be a gay
Like sex on the pulpit,
What else is in the teaches of Benny? huh? what?

Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.
Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.
Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.
Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.
Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.
Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.
Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.
Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.

Huh? What? Right. Uhh. Huh? What? Right. Uhh.
What else in the teaches of Benny, like sex on the pulpit.
Huh? What? Right. Uhh.

Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.
Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.
Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.
Fuck the pope away. Fuck the pope away.

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

So wots the story for this musical?

at the moment we need to include a love story between 2 imaginary forum dwellers and a tonne of stuff about me fisting coppers and drug raping them

MrDarcy · Dame Poofy

i think a gay man loves lesbian woman story with dark fisting undertones

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

catchy! that should be the musical quote 2b displayed on the advertising posters...

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

It's your Penis

Goddess on the mountain top
Hair like a silver flame
The summit of beauty and love
And penis was her game

She's got it
Yeah, baby, she's got it
Its your penis, Its on fire
Chla-myd-ia
Well, Its your penis, It's on fire
Chla-myd-ia

Her weapons were her pristine thighs
Making every man a man
Dirty as a red light district
Got what no-one else had
Wa!

She's got it
Yeah, baby, she's got it
Its your penis, Its on fire
Chla-myd-ia
Well, Its your penis, It's on fire
Chla-myd-ia

Goddess on the mountain top
Hair like a silver flame
The summit of beauty and love
And penis was her game

She's got it
Yeah, baby, she's got it
Its your penis, Its on fire
Chla-myd-ia
Well, Its your penis, It's on fire
Chla-myd-ia

Not sure where in the musical this will fit in, but am sure we cud have abit of sexual health awareness by having sum1 spread abit

Soph4 · Forum Addict

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

Why thank you miss soph!

Soph4 · Forum Addict

What You Waiting For Breeder? (a gwen remix)

What an amazing time, what a family
How did the years go by, getting everything for free...

(tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick tock...)
(she gave birth to them all?) (i've got a mind to kill her)

Like a breeder bored of procreative mode,
Scary situation,shut your eyes, go buy the Pill
What if they say that you're a lesbo?
Naturally i'm not worried if you actually are
Who really cares, coz if you are, just go to Blaydes, you'll think it's great
Take a chance and find a hole (oh...oh ohhh)

Watcha waiting watcha waiting watcha waiting watcha waiting watcha waiting
for?( x2)
(tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock) (that's your last child...! x2)
Take a chance you breeder ho

Liking the L Word plot twists, girl, you're kidding yourself
You know them off by heart, why is your hand always in one place?
You dream of making Shane's hair messy...
You get your test results and there's a gay chromosome
You think it's 'so messed up' that your straight friends don't have a clue
Life is short, you're gay, so what? (oh...oh ohhh)

Look at your kids now
They could use another female
You got your million dollar benefit
Now if only you'd stop drinking it

Watcha waiting watcha waiting watcha waiting watcha waiting watcha waiting for? (x2)

You. Can't. Wait. To. Come
God it's been so long
You know that you don't need a schlong
More soya? Tofu? Oh!
You vegan lesbo girls, damn you've got longevity!

Go! Look at your hair now!
Can they still tell that you're a female?
You've been working on that four pack...
And you know that happiness is a warm t**t

Watcha waiting watcha waiting watcha waiting watcha waiting watcha waiting for? (x2)

What you waiting for? Stop hesitating, whore. Do you need a breeder-man? No.
(I've got a mind to kill her)
What you waiting for? He'll never fix that door. Do you need a breeder-man? No.
Take a chance you breeder ho.

This could be a song addressed to a poor closeted lesbo living an awful life as a power-breeder. It could be sung by Sally (as the caring Women's Officer.)

-- Edited by Soph4 at 02:56, 2006-04-11

scarymary · Forum Addict

more more!

Scotty · The saviour of mankind

soph thats actually amazing! Popjustice would love it...

The loud one

10 Fat queers dancing in queens court
10 fat queers dancing in queens court
If one fat queer should go and find a pull
there will be 9 fat queers dancing queens court

lesbians sing their own number

Well heeeeeeeeeeeeeebeden brigde where the cats are never stray
heeeeeeeeeeeeebden bridge where all the days are gay

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

Soph thats an amazing song!

Wot dya say we start our very own lesbian pop group n write all the songs for it. I can see the gimmick right now.... BIG trainers, loadsa sports gear & the name likes-girls in big neon letters... FISTING POWER!

Soph4 · Forum Addict

thanks everyone! wish that could be my career...

Mary - nice picture! riaow...

Nic - nice idea but after the awfulness that was Tatu i think the pop market should be left to rot on its own! however i will kindly write a gay version of a released song for any artist/group if they ask me nicely.

Pussy Cat Dolls? can you hear me?

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

If anyone wants any song turning in2 something filthy or just ruining, send me a copy of the lyrics, i'll destroy it n put it up here

ChipsAndLube · Bertha, lovely Bertha, you are a lovely machine.

who dredged this one up again?!

the 10 fat queers... i've probably slept with some of them :s

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

Another splendourous song for our musical

Jump

Your eyes, tell me how you want me
I can feel it in your wide on
I know you like what you see
Call me, I'll give you all that you need
Wrap your legs around me
You're so excited,
I can feel you getting wetter, oh baby

I'll lie you down, I'll lie you down
and get in over four,
And if you want more, if you want more
More, more

Then, Jump!
Onto my fist,
Jump on!
And feel my touch
Jump, if you want feel it crammed in tight then,
Jump on my fist
I know my hand can make you happy
Jump on!
You know these arms can fill you up
Jump, if you want to feel it crammed in tight then,
Jump! On my fist

You told me, I'm the only woman for you
Nobody does you like I do
Then make a move before you try
And go much deeper, oh baby
You are the one, you, you are the one
And heavens near ur trap door
And if you want more,
If you want more than four.

Then, Jump!
On my fist

Then, Jump!
Onto my fist,
Jump on!
And feel my touch
Jump, if you want feel it crammed in tight then,
Jump on my fist
I know my hand can make you happy
Jump on!
You know these arms can fill you up
Jump, if you want to feel it crammed in tight then,
Jump! On my fist

When you are swallowing me, (Oooo)
Oh, U come alive (yeah)
Your muff hurts inside (Oooo)
Oh, it feels so right (Yeah)
Come to me if you want fisting tonight (Jump)

I know my hand can make you happy
Jump on!
You know these arms can fill you up
Jump, if you want to feel it crammed in tight then,
Jump! On my fist

monkey · Forum Guru

Nic!! As gd as your version is you have now ruined Girls Aloud for me forever!