Inspired partly by Rich wanting to know what everyone is up to over the summer, and partly by my extreme boredom, vicious rumours are back, in an attempt to theorise what people are doing with their time at the moment...
Nic has renounced her love of coke and is currently running as a local MP for the Leeds Communist Party, a role which she particularly enjoys for the babies she gets to kiss for publicity photos.
Phil has renounced all of his material possessions, given everything to charity and is spending his summer doing voluntary work with the poor and homeless on the streets of Birmingham in an attempt to truely understand how the other half live.
Mike hasn't been seen since the death of one time lover Richard Whitely (see first ever vicious rumours), and is said to be spending most of his time watching repeats of countdown on UK Gold.
Evie was arrested earlier this week for sneaking out fox hunting when she thought nobody was looking, realising only too late that she had accidently chased a hairy dwarf 5 miles through Wakefield town centre into the arms of the police.
Taking advantage of Spain's new gay-friendly outlook, Alberto has married a 47 year old biker called Sue, and is happily domesticated with his 3 adopted babies, each named after a different Bronte sister.
Joe is in hiding after being recorded by undercover police killing puffins on his biology field trip.
Get bitching people, I am bored.
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Adam wrote: Joe is in hiding after being recorded by undercover police killing puffins on his biology field trip.
That's no rumour, that's 100% true. Joe has informed his loving housemates (ie. me) that he's in camp in Huddersfield, but we all know he's just awaiting bail...
I heard that Evie knew it was a dwarf and just wanted to kill the ginger bastard. She ran straight into the police for purposes of expanding her ever waning celebrity on the Wakefield dwarf-zappers scene.
Meanwhile, Adam has been spotted trying out new pulling techniques around Leeds City Centre, posing as a big issue seller, Adam has managed 2 infiltrate the seedy world of the scruffs who hound us down briggate & is currently enjoying "feeding" the homeless fresh molten lard via his man breasts in an attempt 2 fatten them up so he can grab hold of sumthing when his urges get the better of him...
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
NickyDyke85 wrote: Meanwhile, Adam has been spotted trying out new pulling techniques around Leeds City Centre, posing as a big issue seller, Adam has managed 2 infiltrate the seedy world of the scruffs who hound us down briggate & is currently enjoying "feeding" the homeless fresh molten lard via his man breasts in an attempt 2 fatten them up so he can grab hold of sumthing when his urges get the better of him...
that.is.fúcking.gross
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burn down our home, RAPE OUR DEAD MOUTHS. Just as long as I don't have to hear anymore of your disgusting babble
Speaking of Bananrama, rumour has it that anyone passing Clarkson View can hear a strange tapping on the basement window, Lynx deodorant fumes, and a soulless voice singing, "only you can set me free! 'Cause I'm guilty! Of love in the first degree," interspersed with whip-cracking noises, manic giggles, and queefing.
Also speaking of Bananarama... Can't remember if I mentioned this but I saw them at g-a-y a couple of weeks ago and they were fabulous and funny... But they are alot older folks... They do not look like that fit picture that was posted somewhere on the forum a bit ago *sigh* ....it's not a rumour, it's TRUE!!! waaaaa... But good performance, although Texas last Saturday was more fabulous.
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Shock me, shock me, shock me with that devious behaviour!!
(splodge9@aol.com)
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm texas, sorry but Sharleen is quite possibly the fittest person in leathers (jessica alba comes a close second) saw her in concert in sheffield *lost in dreamland*
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
I did hear a rumour that after watching too much Most Haunted on LivingTV, Nic has unfortunately become possessed by an evil spirit which entered her in the night. I hear there was much suprise from Alice and Sash as her minge began spinning 360 degrees around whilst projectile vomiting klunge all over a passing vicar. Nic's offending gash was rushed to the vatican to be exorcised, but sadly the power of Pope Benny wasn't strong enough, and he was duely swallowed into the gaping vortex.
Now, Nic is understandably a little embarassed about the whole affair, so try to avoid mentioning it next time you see her, and if a voice from her trousers tells you that your mother sucks cocks in hell, please try to ignore it.
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I reserve... I reserve... I have a reservation... I HAVE a reservation.. What do you mean its not in the computer?
The pope has been removed from my minge now & he is recovering as we speak in Adams bedroom, tied down to the bed by leather straps... evidently the rat nibbles quite well and Adam won't be around much next year because he will be spendin all of his time lovingly teabagging with benny. You should see the bunch of thank you flowers and the card my darlin son bought me 2 say thanks 4 findin him a bloke.... the lengths u have 2 go 2 these days 2 provide 4 ur children *rolls eyes*
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
Whereas when it comes to fanatics, there is only one religious nut for Nic, she can't get enough of hook handed cleric Abu Hanza. She tells me he can reach places inside her that no pair of hands ever could. The only problem is the amount of blood he draws whislt tickling her uterus means that Nic appears to be permently menstruating, and the light headed diziness she gets from losing all that blood has led to Nic being stopped by police several times for molesting old ladies whislt pretending to faint in the street.
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I reserve... I reserve... I have a reservation... I HAVE a reservation.. What do you mean its not in the computer?
there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this molesting of old ladies... i have been hired as a store detective for the Oxfam shop in the university union because some "saggy titted old bird" has been seen stealing items from the shop.
This saggy titted old lady is actually a young ginger male whos undying affection for lard has created a massive drooping pair of man breasts which have now got so out of control that they hang down to his ankles (we found all this out after running a DNA test on a strand of nipple hair found at the scene of the crime).
This forward thinking criminal realised that his apparent man breasts would immediately get him spotted in an identity parade, so he took to dressing up as an old lady to committ his crimes because they too have nipples which scrape along the floor. Unfortunatley tracking this despicable theif is proving a problem due to the fact that like the population of 70+yr old women, he smells like rancid unchanged-for-years-due-to-alzeihmers incontinence nappys and dead animal carcuses.
-- Edited by NickyDyke85 at 18:01, 2005-08-04
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
I did hear some interesting gossip last week whilst I was in the cells overnight for stealing boiler suits... Apparently the police are on the look out for wannabe superhero Scatwoman who has disrupted several major police raids on the Hyde Park bomb factory by turning up and attempting to save the day by engaging in brown love with the terrorist suspects. Apparently this poor misguided individual is said to be seen running out of QC into a phone box, then emerging in a brown spandex suit and cape before disappearing into the night. Police psychologoists are saying that this strange fetish is most likely the product of an extremely disturbed mind who clearly is having a hard time coming to terms with her obscene fetishism and only wants love and acceptance for who she really is.
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I reserve... I reserve... I have a reservation... I HAVE a reservation.. What do you mean its not in the computer?
the only reason Adam is living in Hyde Park is because he can't enter woodhouse due to a restraining order banning him from been within a mile radius of infant schools... this is also the reason he had 2 leave home n go 2 university, he was caught at his local infant schools bbq offering a "special" hotdog to the kids, unfortunately for adam the kids took one look at the "sausage" inside the bread n decided it was 2 mouldy to eat, his downfall came when he mistook a 40yr old midget for a 4yr old.
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
Whereas Nic got arrested for mistaking a 4 year old for a 40 year old midget, after she propositioned a nursery school child to come and make hairy midget scat rubber piss fetish porn with her, only to find herself being ejected from the petting zoo.
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I reserve... I reserve... I have a reservation... I HAVE a reservation.. What do you mean its not in the computer?
i can't repeat wot adam did in the petting zoo... actually sod it yeah i can... he was ejected the very same day 4 strippin off and rolling round in mud b4 crawlin on his hands n knees makin oinking noises to attract toddlers who only wanted to touch a pig... poor poor children, so many parents had 2 explain to their kids that pigs don't talk or produce milk when u shake its tail
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
What number? I'll pop round after my exams! PM me if you like - its probably safer - i heard a vicious rumour that Richard has been seen wandering woodhouse with a big scythe chopping down gayers and selling their flesh to KFC. I wouldn't like him to find you. Oh i found my house by the way, and got harassed by Chavs. Love Leeds.
thaidave wrote: What number? I'll pop round after my exams! PM me if you like - its probably safer - i heard a vicious rumour that Richard has been seen wandering woodhouse with a big scythe chopping down gayers and selling their flesh to KFC. I wouldn't like him to find you. Oh i found my house by the way, and got harassed by Chavs. Love Leeds.
Chavs? You must be on the wrong side of Woodhouse, mate. Have you seen the big scary doberman dogs outside the corner shop on the corner of Lucas Street yet? They scare the crap out of me. As do the Woodhouse rats. (I mean actual rats. Not some chav gang.)
As far as Richard rumours go, I hear he's gone into hiding after selling the remainder of Craig's ribs to Fortune Cookie.
sash finished them off the other day... 2 whole bags of them! he can't get enuff of skinny boy ribs, he's regularly being thrown outta QC for nibbling on random queens
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
so so so so so so so so wrong!
