nearly out

Date: Tue Oct 11 17:26 2005

nearly out

richardyoung71 · *Censored*

Hey, you might wanna take a look here . There's quite a few coming stories that people wrote last year.

There's also a section on coming out on the website that might be some use.

Good luck!

Date: Tue Oct 11 21:09 2005

I used to be really afraid of coming out.
I pretend to be straight and I thought I was doing okay.
But one day I got involved in a car accident and realised that if I have died, I would have regret loads for not being true to myself.
I decided to come out, and when I realised the people's perception of me hasn't changed at all, and that everything was same as before, only much better.
As for parents... I suppose that you don't have to tell them but I guss it is up to individuals.

PatrickT · Forum Guru

I haven't written on Richard's linked page there so I thought I may as well contribute here.
My general opinion is that if you're telling people that you think ought to know, that you think really should know, then err on the side of caution: be direct. Don't be saying, 'I'm kinda', 'at the moment i'm feeling', 'i've been thinking as though' or whatever. Just say it. Most people, no matter how unaware of the progressive world around them can't really react terribly to direct statements of fact. It's a matter of them saying, 'oh, ok...'

If they're going to be harsh and critical and unwelcome to your sexuality and hence to you as a person, they'll tell you one way or another and it's best to know what they feel rather than have to guess. Uncertainty is your enemy.

Of course this requires the biggest balls in the world and you'll be scared out of your mind when doing it, I know I was, but that's ok; it's supposed to be like that.

Best wishes.

p

AlbyFC · You best sima!

Parents are indeed tough work. But I don't generally talk to my parents about my sentimental life. I think that's why we had the urge to tell people around us... to have somebody there who can listen. I'm out to nearly all my friends, and to three members of my family. My father, however, is going to be tough work. He was born and brought up in an atmosphere that couldn't be more homophobic. But I'll get there somehow. And so will you!

Good luck, mate! xxxxx

yongee · Forum Addict

my parents are too far eastern in their thinking im afraid they mite me stone me to death if i tell them..

its embarassing that i havent com out to my folks, but hey there u go.. quite irrelevant, sorry mr. annonymous!! you will do fine.

Date: Wed Oct 12 16:04 2005

hey. thanks for all that. the link was really useful, been a great help. Now all i need to do is do it....
cheers

Adam · *Censored*

Do what I did and get pissed off your face first

kenw3 · Forum Member

My experience of coming out was fine with (unusually) my Dad. I wasn't speaking to my Mum at the time though so I just told all of her friends when I was pissed. She's fine about it now though. In this respect I feel lucky compared to others who don't have such an easy time.

I think you should only tell people you love (not your Mam's friends - I concede that that was an angry juvenile mistake), whenever you feel the time is right, and if anyone else wants to know they can ask.

-- Edited by kenw3 at 17:33, 2005-10-12

AliceH · Butter Me Up!

Anonymous wrote:

hey. thanks for all that. the link was really useful, been a great help. Now all i need to do is do it....
cheers

I've written on the other thread, but just want to say you shouldn't put any pressure on yourself to come out. You should do it when you're ready.

If you come out via the telephone, then you will avoid some confrontation. (Physical reactions won't happen, for instance. So if you think there may be any danger of that then it may be a good method. If you're scared you'll lose the nerve, a letter could also work, although lots of people I know have just been with their parents and randomly blurted out, "mum/dad, I'm gay." Sometimes being direct is the only way, but to be honest, think carefully about what you feel is best for you and your situation.

And good luck. I'm hoping your parents are supportive. Most are, especially once they get over the initial shock, and you may be surprised to realise your parents have suspicions already. Coming out is usually nervewracking, but as soon as I did it, it was an amazing relief. Finally! I could be myself.

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

Good Luck with it!

Jus don't get in a massive argument about something random n then run ur mouth off bout been gay 2 get one over on ur parents (i've always been a gobby little sod) cos it will result in world war 3, possible injuries and alot of tension between u n ur parents for a few weeks.

PatrickT · Forum Guru

Nick, you really do have all the best stories! That sounds like a horrible coming out tale - it's so volatile! (I'm assuming that's how your coming out took place?!)

I'd never be brave enough to just blurt it out.... I waited for a VERY good moment: I talked to my mother at her most vulnerable and calm time, when she's been out in her garden all day long and is just finishing off with dirty hands and a broad summery smile across her face. Sucker!!!

NickyDyke85 · YouCanaeSmokeNayHashOn'Ere!

well i'd split up with this boyfriend i had in school (my mum loved him 2 bits) and had decided I wer gonna get in2 footy, that was the original cause of the argument cos my mum didn't think i shud due to been banned by the hospital, anyway at one point she turned round n shouted at me "you've split up with him, ignoring hospital and doing footy, you're going to tell me you're one of them next" so me been me and determined 2 get one over on me mum in the argument were like "yeah I ****ing well am n wot u gonna do bout it?"

she lobbed me out the car n i had 2 walk the rest of the 3 miles home, then when i got home the argument carried on and i got a plate thrown at me (its only thing shes ever got on target n i still have a dint in my head 2 prove it) for running my mouth off again, can't remember wot comment i'd made that time tho. After that I got peace n quiet cos she wouldnt talk 2 me for a month. she wer pretty homophobic, but she's chilled about it now.

My dad, well he wer working away from home the night me n my mum had a huge argument, but later on that night he got rushed to hospital with a Deep Vein thingy that u catch on planes and was in intensive care for 3 weeks, high dependancy unit for another week, then put in a coronary ward for another week, so that might account for my mum not talkin 2 me for a month. After all that tho my dad wer just happy 2b alive n didn't give a **** that I wer gay.

certifiablysane · Posting Addict

God, I remember coming out to my parents, but I was really lucky both of them were totally cool with it. As I recall the first thing on my mums mind was all the money she'd be able to save on grandchildren or something...

Yeah, that's Wigan thought processes for ya!

-- Edited by AlbyFC at 17:39, 2005-10-16

AlbyFC · You best sima!

Sorry! I edited your post instead of replying to it! And I realised a few days later. Oops! Well... it's still better than my mum saying I still hadn't found the right woman.

thaidave · Not Thai Dave

I told mine when David Beckham scored that penalty to beat the argentinians in the 2002 world cup. It went pretty well, mum cried, dad fainted, and granddad (bless him) muttered something semi-indecipherable about Pink triangles and "during the war".
Thing's generally work out, a nine mile walk up and down a mountain generally lets you figure things out logically! Besides, they love my boyfriend, he's invited to Christmas.... weiiiirrrrd!