I, like many gay guys, have mainly female friends. When I meet new people, I usually find myself keeping a distance, if the person in question is
a) male
b) appears to be straight.
Mainly because
I donīt like the idea of telling about my orientation the first time I meet people, because there is a lot more to me than that. It doesnīt come naturally in your average conversation either (maybe itīs because my sex life is about as active as that of a cactus? ).
I have a good friend back home who Iīve known for ages. Recently Iīve felt a little troubled in his company. I think he does know, but weīve never discussed it. I canīt help but feel a little guilty around him, mainly because there are a lot of people that I have been out to for ages. Maybe it would feel a little weird after that? Heīs not anti-gay at all, but I have a feeling he couldnīt be relaxed around me anymore.
Where are you from? Is it a small minded area? Has he ever voiced anything regarding your sexuality or about lgbt people which make you uneasy? Why do you think he wouldn't be relaxed if he knew you were gay? I've got quite a lot of hetro male friends who i've been out to for a long time and it doesn't bother them... but then, like you say, theres an awful lot more to gay people then their sexuality.
My advice would be to try and be comfortable with yourself. You don't need to come out at all, just be happy with who you are... besides, isn't addressing your sexuality/otherness immediately alienating you, giving yourself a self-perception of being another type of person?
This friend of yours, not knowing your sexuality. Should you really feel guilt for that? It shows you are wanting you maintain the friendship which you value too much to risk. In time you may come to tell him about yourself, but i wouldn't make rash decisions, you don't want to break the bond you treasure.
That said, surely if you guys are such great friends then he would accept you regardless? I hope that helps
I haven't told me best friend from Secondary School. Sometimes you just don't feel a need. And I think that's ok. Tell people when you want. Admittedly I haven't seen him in three years because our various schedules have never corresponded so we're in the same place at the same time. If they should know, tell them. Otherwise, why do they need to know who you do in bed?
Yeah, I've only ever lived in depressing small towns.
I think the problem is that at the time I came out to a lot of my friends, me and my friend didn't see too much of each other. Now it somehow doesn't seem to be such a big issue for me anymore, and hence doesn't feel natural to bring up in a conversation. He isn't the kind of person who would have a problem with it, but somehow I still have a feeling things would be different between us.
Well, I'll have to think about this anyway. Thanks for the opinions.
If you aren't worried about ti and it comes up in every day conversation then thats sometimes an easier way of doing it. I was with 2 friends one who knew and another who didn't and the conversation turned naturally onto what we were oding next my friend who knew was moving to cardiff so we started having a talk about rugby players. It was just accepted as an everyday thing rather than the big dramatic coming out scene.
Middleton er no thanks. But have you ever visited Seacroft Chris? It's worse - bloody awful................
As for the original question, if this person is a true friend, who you're jumping into bed with should not bother him. If it did, then from a personal perspective, I would be questioning the validity of the friendship.
Friendships should be built on respect, individuality, trust and treasured experiences together - if you've got these, I think you'll be just fine. But it's your friendship, you you will know what's best.
). 
