Urban Legends

Sally · Big Gay Al

Urban Legends

Jeni Jeni Jen Jen

That bastard email about those "bonsai kittens".

It still seems to make the rounds... who in the hell actually believed it?!

Craziness.

Snopes is my friend.

Ditzy_fck · Dame Poofy

Theres the one about how this stall at this nottingham fair was putting salt in their drinks to make people more thirsty so they'd buy more. hideously ingenious!

Sally · Big Gay Al

uh huh, so far so good, a little tame though!

i am considering letting the through the one about the woman who gave birth to lobsters........

Date: Wed Jan 17 01:28 2007

she didn't give birth to them Sally you wassack! She fell in love with a lobster and did the rumpy pumpy with it only for her to be poisoned and die. A tragic tale of a terrible passion.

stu

Jeni Jeni Jen Jen

Oh, there was the one about the maggot egg boobs or something. I think there is a picture of it on snopes somewhere.

Click if you want to see a bad photoshop of egg ridden boobies. Yum.

But I remember a story that went round my school:

A friend of a friend was on the metro, and these 3 scally girls were giving evils to her. And the one in the middle was just giving her a stony look for all the journey.

They reached the Sale stop, and some policemen came on.

It turns out that the girl in the middle was dead all along, and the other two had killed her.

blondelottie · Gay Lord

Did anyone hear that one in primary school where porcaline dolls come to life when you go to sleep?

(My mate had nightmares for years)

Rt hon NickyDyke85 · Lord of the Rings

2 words.... SOGGY BISCUIT!

So far I've never met anyone who's played it even tho its meant 2b commonplace in EVERY school

Sally · Big Gay Al

hehehe stu i must disagree.

in the version i heard, she was naughty with a lobster and it gave birth...inside her. she then collapsed in a supermarket surrounded by hundreds of baby lobsters.

true story.

Sally · Big Gay Al

ooh i have two more!

santa claus was originally green before coca cola showed him in a red suit.

I also heard that the Frosties kid (they're gonna taste great!) killed himself.

Wouldn't be surprised.

scarymary · Forum Addict

the santa claus thing is true moron

Ditzy_fck · Dame Poofy

all the ones i know involve murder

Sally · Big Gay Al

nope, apparently its not. though I am sure your hearsay evidence is far superior to my hearsay evidence.

:)

Ditzy_fck · Dame Poofy

actually i heard santa claus was meant to be a demon circa 15th century in germany and scandanavia who did go down chimneys, but in order to eat children. how time distorts things

blondelottie · Gay Lord

if only the children knew!

anyone seen futurama with bad santa?

scarymary · Forum Addict

i'm pretty sure he wasn't, he was a bishop in germany called Nicolaus - since made a saint (st. niclaus - santa claus gettit?), and he left presents of money for poor people apparantly he used to chuck it down the chimney. his idea caught on and parents started giving presents to children on st.nicolaus day which is in november, but if they were naughty they told the children the 'grumpus' would get them - i.e. a scary evil devil thing that beats people

in germany and austria - and probs other countries too- locals dress up as them on st.niclaus day and get pissed and beat people up in pubs.

it's bloody scary

Rt hon NickyDyke85 · Lord of the Rings

unfortunately the frosties tosser is still alive & well in his native South Africa

Sally · Big Gay Al

hahaha glad to hear it. the poor little mite

here's a nice one:

a couple on holiday returned to their hotel room one night to find it had been burgled. As they'd had nothing of value left there, nothing had been taken, but their toothbrushes had mysteriously been moved. Not thinking much of it, they continued their holiday.

On return, they had their holiday photos developed, and discovered to their horror, pictures of the burglars with their toothbrushes where the sun dont shine...

hahaha. what a load of balls. why would anyone bother to make that up?

Rt hon NickyDyke85 · Lord of the Rings

Ok, u think the burglars is bad n creepy... just wait 4 this one....

A bloke and his family were on holidays in the United States and went to Mexico for a week. An avid cactus fan, the man bought a one-metre high, rare and expensive cactus there. On arrival back home Australian Customs said it must be quarantined for 3 months.

He finally got his cactus home. Planted it in his backyard, and over time it grew to about 2 metres. One evening while watering his garden after a warm spring day, he gave the cactus a light spray. He was amazed to see the plant shiver all over, he gave it another spray and it shivered again. He was puzzled so he rang the council who put him on to the state gardens people. After a few transfers he got the state's foremost cactus expert who asked him many questions. How Tall is it? Has it flowered? etc.

Finally he asked the most disturbing question. "Is your family in the house?" The bloke answered yes. The cactus expert said get out of the house NOW, get on to the front nature strip and wait for me, I will be there in 20 minutes.

Fifteen minutes later, 2 fire trucks, 2 police cars and an ambulance came screaming around the corner. A fireman got out and asked "Are you the bloke with the cactus?" I am, he said. A guy jumped out of the fire truck wearing what looked like a space suit, a breathing cylinder and mask attached to what looked like a scuba backpack with a large hose attached. He headed for the backyard and turned a flame-thrower on the cactus spraying it up and down.

After a few minutes the flame-thrower man stopped, the cactus stood smoking and spitting, half the fence was burnt and parts of the gardens were well and truly scorched. Just then the cactus expert appeared and laid a calming hand on the bloke's shoulder. "What the hell's going on?" he says. "Let me show you" says the cactus man. He went over to the cactus and picked away a crusty bit, the cactus was almost entirely hollow and filled with tiger striped bird-eating tarantula spiders, each about the size of two hand spans.

The story was that this type of spider lays eggs in this type of cactus and they hatch and live in it as they grow to full size. When full size they release themselves. The cactus just explodes and about 150 dinner plate sized hairy spiders are flung from it, dispersing everywhere. They had been ready to pop. The aftermath was that the house and the adjoining houses had to be vacated and fumigated: police tape was put up outside the whole area and no one was allowed in for two weeks.

-- Edited by Rt hon NickyDyke85 at 23:11, 2007-01-18

The loud one

you forgot to mention that as the spiders were american they were actually there to liberate the australians from the opressive regieme heres a good one

A woman goes to see her doctor because she is losing weight the doctors run
various tests and eventually decide that she has a psychological eating disorder she insists that she is neither starving herself or vomiting but no one believes her. The woman is sectioned and sent to an institution where they start feeding her through a tube still she says that she is not starving herself. One morning the nurse goes to the woman’s room and finds her dead. The woman’s body is laid out and her family are called in to visit her before she is taken to the morgue. The family are shown into the room and sit around crying suddenly the woman’s body begins fitting the family scream for the nurses saying she’s not dead as the shocked nurses run into the room the woman’s stomach rips open and hundreds of beetles run out apparently the woman had been on safari a few month earlier and a predatory beetle had laid eggs In her the eggs had hatched and the spiders had fed on the food that she had been eating until finally strong enough to eat their way out of the woman….NOT SURE IF THAT IS TRUE

BUT THIS IS a man went on holiday in Cambodia he dives in to a river for a swim a monk from the near by temple comes running along the banks telling them to get out he climbs out and apologises thinking that it must be a holey place. He goes home and after a while starts loosing weight. He sees doctors about his condition but nobody knows what is wrong eventually one doctor says he knows exactly and quickly admits him to hospital the man is booked in for surgery the same day once on the operating theatre the doctor cuts open the mans duodenum and pulls out a 1 ½ meter snake apparently the snake lays its eggs in the water the monk had not been angry merely concerned for their safety