Im in a bit of a mess. I joined fitlads a while ago and put some nude pics on my profile. Just one full nude and another of me jacking off but nothing too hardcore. Theyre down now though. I found out the other week that a gay guy from back home had found me on fitlads and saved the pics to his harddrive. Hes a bit strange and ever since has been really freaky over msn and all that. The thing is that he knows my good circle of friends, not as well as I do, but he knows them and he once "joked" to me in a freaky way that he would show the pics to them and that I better do something to shut him up. The other day when we were all together he hinted in front of the group that I was kinky and stuff and made a joke about my **** but I dont think anyone took it seriously. I just dont want it getting out. It was a mistake when I posted them and dont want the world to find out!
Hes been hinting at blackmailing me in a sexual way but I really don't want to give in and do that. What can I do to make him shutup and not blow my cover and have my friends see them? What would you do?
Sam, not meaning to step on your toes here. So sorry if it does.
Anon, sorry you've ended up with such a problem.
Basically what this fella is doing is blackmail (section 21, Theft Act 1968) as he is attempting to make gains for himself with unwarranted menaces. There is a maximum custodial sentence of 14years for this.
Best action would be to contact fitlads to see what they have in place for anything like this and any advice they can give. Also if you've not been doing so, keep a copy/log of every bit of correspondence he has with you and anything you say/send back to him, especially any that make demands and threats... this can all build up to be extremely damning evidence against him.
When you feel that you have got enough evidence against him, tell him to leave you alone and that you don't want him contacting you. If he carries on contacting you and all this is logged with everything else, there's also a case there for harrassment... this is generally seen as a 'civil' crime so you can report it to the police and get an injunction (court order) to prevent him from contacting you, if he breaches this order its a simple case of reporting it to the police & he'll be given a short custodial sentence (anywhere up to 2years) however 'civil' crimes don't get the same treatment as 'criminal' crimes, so he would have to do the full amount of time he'd been sentenced to... also if he is sent to prison under harrassment measures all his mail will be heavily monitored, read & logged and his phone numbers are checked & monitored.
Also I'm not too sure about this, but with the nature of his demands, the sexual element could also be held against him and it could lead to him having to put his name on the sex offenders register at the very least. Don't quote me on that one though as I'm not 100% sure. However he won't get done for rape or sexual assault as it stands because he hasn't committed those acts... don't give into his demands or give him the chance to.
The one thing he will be counting on will be you keeping silent about it and not daring to speak out, which is why he thinks he can get what he wants. The best way of dealing with this is by going to the police, they'll deal with your complaint seriously, however the more evidence you can take with you to show them, the more they've got to nail him with, so keep a log. Also anything you go to the police with is kept confidential and they will deal with it, they can also refer you to a victim support group.
Don't tell him you've gone to the police or are going to the police though as that may make him show everyone the photo's, but do ask him to leave you alone and drop the issue, as the chances are he'll not and will say more incriminating things which will land him in more trouble. Also if he has got the photo's saved on his hard drive, if they take seize his computer as evidence and find the pictures there (even if they've been deleted they can still be found) that's another factor against him.
The issue will only go to court if you wish to go ahead and press charges against him, that is your choice and you don't have to press charges if you don't want to, but he will get off scot free if you drop any charges against him. Personally I would run him through the courts.
I hope that is of some use to you. Whatever you do just remember... 1) He's in the wrong and breaking the law 2) Contact fitlads about the issue & lad in question to see what they can do & advise 3) Keep a log of all correspondance (e-mails, texts, msn conversations) between you both, especially the demands/threats. 4) Don't stay quiet about it, go to the police & present them with a copy of all the correspondance - they will take it seriously and keep it confidential. (don't tell the fella about it) 5) Don't whatever you do, in any circumstance, give into his demands
-- Edited by Rt hon NickyDyke85 at 11:44, 2008-04-05
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Nic // LGBT Society Events Officer 05/06 // LGBT Assembly Chair 05/06 - NUS LGBT Society of the year 2006(winners) //
LUU honarary life member - Awarded 2006 // LGBT Assembly Mentor 2006 -Onwards.
Contact me at nicturner_85@hotmail.com
