but one of my queer mate just told me that hes now bi..
I always believed that ppl (especially men) who insisted on being bi or open minded were too scared to admit their gayness, and not far from going down that road soon anyway.
But then again I agree with the sugestion that mayb everyones slightly bi? Ach I dont kno..
This mate just got me ALL confused now. Its like, coming out of the closet but going back in with one door open and the other closed..
And since this soc's catered for Bisexual ppl too, I would much like to be enlightened bout this matter...
So that i dont make stupid mistakes of embarassing/offending him by asking him stuff like " whos better in bed " or summit lol (which i mite have done already)
I'm actually starting to think I am. I like to think I'm down to earth, and quite open minded, and the idea of sleeping with girls again doesn't bother me at all. In fact, recently I've been dreaming about a girl on my course. And I've always been able to appreciate a good pair of breasts and a nice ass (God, I sounded like a straight lad then). Although, a womans genitals are still the most unattractive thing ever (Ah, not so much a straight lad).
I know this sounds cheesy, but I do really think that it's personality that counts. So when someone comes along who I click with and wanna spend the rest of my life with them, whether they're male or female won't matter. That sounds like total BS, but it's true.
Variety is the spice of life!
Oh, and beggars can't be choosers, so you gotta take whatevers on offer!
I have plenty of friends that came out as gay when they were in their teens and the later on decided that they were bisexual. I think that, in some cases, there is a stigma attached to being bisexual and I am ashamed to say that I have noticed that this stigma comes from gay men. I think that for young men when they first come out there is a certain pressure on them to choose a sexuality and stick to it. Therefore young men when they first come out are afraid to actually come out as bisexual as they have found a new world that accepts them for being different so they want to do the best they can to fit in. as I say this is just my experience from what people have told me when I used to be a worker and I hope that I have not offended anyone by what ive said.
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don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Generally i guess its different wi men n bisexuality, but wi women its abit different, cos been bi is abit more accepted (u can still have the girly chats bout men n the other ones bout women) its a bit of a steppin stone 2 fully comin out, other than that its used as a ****ing fashion label (make borin breeder bitches sound interesting or cos sum famous bird has dun it n they wanna b like her - britney n maddonna = prime example - it wernt even a ****in snog!) pullin tool, how many str8 boys fall over themselves 2 try n pull 2 girls dancin sexily wi each other? theres the use of it as a cover up when they r actually experimentin but wanna have a chance 2 **** u over n know u wont touch em if they say they r jus goin 4 experience, theres the few who will jus shag anything, the others who genuinley haven't fuguired out wot they r n then the rare few who actually do like both sexes equally n fair play 2 them cos the poor sods have 2 put up wi alot of crap cos of the other "bi's"
overall all tho if u like sum1 its not cos of wot they r but who they r, i aint fussy bout wot a lass is as long as they have a nice smile, nice eyes, sense of humour n good personality
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
Being one of these myself I would say yes it definitely is for real. I can recall having an attraction to women at least from when i was about 12..but it didn't occur to me that I might actually fancy these women until about 6 months after i first started going out on the gay scene (october 2001 was my first time out..happy memories!)..took me up to 2 years later to decide for definite that I was..I kept changing my mind and thinking that I'd just got very comfortable with the whole gay scene vibe and thinking that I was just confusing my appreciation for good looking women with fancying them.. Furthermore I thought that once I'd got down to waist level I couldn't go any further... But realised earlier this year that I was definitely up for women and am happy that I've come to that realisation... And it was so nice to feel how relaxed I was as I told my friends about it, and being able to talk about who I fancied.. My fancying of men has definitely not changed.. I guess that some people veer more towards one side than the other.. At the moment I definitely fancy more women, but that's purely because straight or gay there's more women for me to fancy that come into queens court, whereas I don't fancy gay blokes.. But as a whole I'd say my fancying of either sex is pretty much either or.
And I completely agree with challenge the mighty about personality.. Obviously you're attracted to looks first, but it's personality that makes or breaks a person.. There've been people who I've not thought about in a fancying way who as I've got to know them have become really good looking because of the way they are and I've known people who are known as really fit etc, but because of their attitude/behaviour to others make themselves quite ugly..
Anyway, ho hum..sorry for going on..Not sure if any of that is in any way informative/interesting, but thought I would add my bit seeing as I'm up and about.. Nick, how screwed are our sleep patterns?! Love to all, Emily.xx My washing machine is scaring me and all my housemates have gone to bed. :(
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Shock me, shock me, shock me with that devious behaviour!!
(splodge9@aol.com)
ur 1 of the rare few :o) n i got abit of a cynical view but it seems 2b the kinda norms i've ran in2 back home.
Sleepin patterns ****ed, i aint seen day light for the past week, with the exception of yesterday, this weeks gonna screw me up good n proper am back at work in 10 hours, on 4 12hrs, off 4 7, on 4 14, off 4 12, on 4 12, off 4 12, on 4 12 n goin home xmas eve, at least am gettin paid 4 it i guess
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
I have a friend who's very cynical about bisexuality. He says that bisexuality is used as a shield against society in order not to come out as a homosexual. I'm not with him on that, mainly because his negative view of bisexuality comes from a few bad experiences with men, and you cannot make such broad generalisations. There may be men who don't want to admit they're gay and therefore prefer saying they're bisexual, but anyone who self-identifies as a bisexual has the right to be respected as much as anyone else.
I personally find it quite irritating when people question other people's sexualities, because who are we to judge or determine?
I would be quite cross if anyone tried to tell me what I am, cause surely nobody knows better than me!
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'I've discovered the secret of life. A lot of hard work, a lot of sense of humor, a lot of joy and a whole lot of tra la la.' Kay Thompson
i've got kind of a weird take on it, considering the various phases i've been through. i started out straight, went through a long bisexual phase from about 13 or 14 years old to about 17 or 18, and ended up gay. but even though i've fancied women in the past, the thought of fancying women again really scares me. not sure why, but i really don't want to turn bi or straight again, even though i can't see it happening. i don't think i would like having to tell people that i'd changed my mind, but that can't be the only reason. there's something else that scares me about the prospect but i can't work out what it is.
by the way, i agree with you, nic. it really p1sses me off when straight girls pretend to be bi just cos it's fashionable.
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alright stop, collaborate and listen,
ice is back with a brand new invention
That was another thing that worried me...I didn't want it to seem like I was jumping on a big bandwaggon.. Some people who I told were like..'what, you've just decided'..and I had to go on and explain that I hadn't suddenly decided to stop saying i was straight and had actually felt that way for a while.. I can still see myself getting married and having kids etc, but at the same time i have crushes on girls and so if i end up falling in love with and wanting to be with one of them, that's something else i can imagine happening. I think saying you are bi because it might be cool is a ridiculous thing.. Like a big fashion statement. I know someone who keeps telling me about all the girls she pulls on a night out at her uni and so I thought she might be bi/gay.. but when I asked her about it she laughed and said she just does it in front of guys because it's fun and to wind them up/get a rise out of them. She's definitely straight and now has a bf, but i guess she would still do it for the amusement factor.. I don't really see the point of that. i.e. it's cool for girl on girl action for guys but at the end of the day what they want to see is two girls they fancy getting it on..whether they are lesbians is neither here nor there. And now I've lost my train of thought so I am going to end here!..
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Shock me, shock me, shock me with that devious behaviour!!
(splodge9@aol.com)
...what they want to see is two girls they fancy getting it on.. And now I've lost my train of thought so I am going to end here!.. Ooh Emily, I can just imagine you getting all moist now!
There've been a few fair points about Bisexuals, many of which I agree with. My main views are as follows: 1. Yes it does exist 2. As a bloke, to 'the normal world', it's probably slightly more acceptable to be bi (cos some blokes will happily still talk to u bout the birds they fancy), but in the World of Gay, Bisexuals are sometimes ridiculed or insulted (generally with good humour), so it probably just seems easier to say you're gay or let people assume. 3. Yes, there are a lot of people who, for lack of a better phrase, are actually either straight or gay, and are using the term as a device for attention/ to cover up their own insecurities etc, and as a result are giving everyone else a bad name by association. 4. Unfortunately, there are also people who simply aren't fussy about what kind of sex they get, and seem to end up being those 'greedy fence-sitters' that we hear so much about (Some seemed to be at BiCon this year) 5. It opens up lots of threesome opportunities. Which three, though, is the important thing (please find an attractive/sexy couple, otherwise what's the point?) 6. Oh, and about the phrase It's not a sex you fall in love with, it's the person, I agree that's all well and good, but whom you fancy is a completely different ball-game, and much like love, it's not something you control. Some people also use that phrase basically to come out without doing it properly. People who have used that phrase include Michael Stipe (gay), Darren Hayes (SO gay), and George Michael (Still reading?).
On my own personal gayscale, I've been (straight), Gay, Bi, Gay (in that order). And to confuse matters further, there's a girl at work who fancies me and she's actually really fit but I'm confused - it's been so long since I had girl-sex, I'm sure they've changed the way you do it by now!
quote: Originally posted by: PeterJ " it's been so long since I had girl-sex, I'm sure they've changed the way you do it by now!-- Edited by PeterJ at 11:23, 2004-12-21"
They change it every five years, and couples have to go to the doctor and learn to do it all over again. And that's why schools stick to the bees and the seeds, because that way they don't have to rewrite all the text books again!
Did that sound convincing? Hoo hoo!
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'I've discovered the secret of life. A lot of hard work, a lot of sense of humor, a lot of joy and a whole lot of tra la la.' Kay Thompson
its still simple even if they have changed it, jus fill the hole n well its pretty much dun. Women r evil, dun like em 1 bit n my ex workmates dun seem 2 get this point n want me 2 go on a nite out wi all of them (includin nat)... they dun understand that i dun wanna b anywhere within a mile of her
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
