Why does it feel like gay relationships are made so you can never get out? The fear of leaving far outways the staying. If anyone can tell me the secret of a sucessful split with somone you still love, don't want to hurt but realise you will inevitably cheat if are blackmailed into staying through buckets of tears and promises I would greatly appreciate this. Why is lesbianism so serious and being loud and proud make you a better homo?
perhaps it's because there are fewer gay/lesbian people to choose from as future partners, so there's a great fear of being alone, or ending up with someone worse, that drives people to stay in unhappy relationships.
it's an issue close to my heart too, at the moment. it sucks.
I think that you have a point about gay relationships being harder to emerge from then straight relationships... sometimes. The way i see it, the hardest factor of getting over a relationship is the fact that there is no-one else around to get over the relationship with. Gay communities are so closely knitted and condensed that everyone becomes influenced by the break-up... especially if it is 2 people who have mutual friends. By seeing those people continually there is always that residual emotion that lingers that a change of scene can normally dispel within a more heterosexual environment. That said though, the odds of heterosexual people finding true love is always quite slim and i guess in terms of pure percentages, homosexual people are less likely to find their true love.
That said though, relationship break-up's need not be bleak and i think once you get over the fact that you've seen the other person naked loads of time and can't touch them anymore you move on just fine.... or maybe i'm just cold?
quote: Originally posted by: Nessa "Why does it feel like gay relationships are made so you can never get out? The fear of leaving far outways the staying. If anyone can tell me the secret of a sucessful split with somone you still love, don't want to hurt but realise you will inevitably cheat if are blackmailed into staying through buckets of tears and promises I would greatly appreciate this. Why is lesbianism so serious and being loud and proud make you a better homo?"
Cos lesleybeans r pretty psychotic n wanna shackle u down within 1st month of a relationship. Guarentee ya that within 1st 2weeks u'll get asked if u love em yet, i dun get the neediness.
Hmmm secret of a sucessful split, faking ur own death/kidnapping... best way of escaping n not been hated 4 it, unless u get found out of course. Generally try talkin n sayin u dun think its working n dun wanna hurt them, theres the its not u its me line, erm or theres probably the best option out of everything, just be honest... ok so there'll b tears n sum1's bound 2 feel hurt but the hurt feelin will eventually go away n they'll repect fact u wer honest, just b gentle when ur doin it.
Failing that theres the just be a complete bastard/start been a twat n drag it out til they ditch u option, not nice but have u ever noticed how easy it is 2 get over sum1 u REALLY dislike? Make em hate u n they'll focus on how much of a twat u r & all ur bad points b4 questionin y they wer ever wi u, wont feel like they've lost much then, leave it a while after n send a friendly txt n work on been mates if u want after.
Lesbianism aint that serious & u dun have 2b loud n proud 2b a good dyke
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
The person who dumps is bound to be the person who's vilified most of the time, but, hey, if it's not working, then you'd better do what is true! Don't try to convince her you're going to be best friends as soon as you break up, because it doesn't normally work! Give her time, give yourself time, and, as Nic said... if you resume contact in a while, things will probably start working on the friendship level.
It also depends on how emotionally close that person and you felt together. It's too tentative to say "the longer you've been together, the longer it takes to heal". I think it depends more on each person... some people have more delicate hearts and need more time.
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'I've discovered the secret of life. A lot of hard work, a lot of sense of humor, a lot of joy and a whole lot of tra la la.' Kay Thompson
ikea scares me, its when u know ur practically married. Sorry 2 dissappoint u Alby but I aint goin 2 Ikea, so I can't get u a cushion... split with gf cos things wernt working.
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
Only time I quite happily went 2 Ikea was when I was a kid n my rents wer shoppin, got 2 hang out in the massive play area, sumhow its gone from been a decent 2 place 2 the "kiss of death"
Am doin ok cheers annie! How bout u pulled n shaved any germans yet?
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
Yeah, m'OK! Got past the well of confusion and despair that is anyone's first week in foreign climes and am doing mighty fine thankyou. Of course, I'm in love [don't tell anyone, but I'm always in love] but I dont think she's interested. She's gorgeous! Johanna is her name, no excess hair just the perfect German goddess: tall, blonde, tanned... And if she turns up at LGB when I eventually get round to going there - maybe next week...? well, I'd be surprised and utterly delighted. But she won't, these goddesses always have gorgeous matching men called Fabian.
Mamma mia! Nic, you really know how to charm the ladies, huh? Thanks for the tips, but I think I'll stick to fluttering my eyelashes over my copy of Geothe's Ballads for now.
And speaking of charm, I swear I have at least four guys after me here! Is this what happens ERASMUS stylee Al? It's like a school disco with more beards...
quote: Originally posted by: annie " And speaking of charm, I swear I have at least four guys after me here! Is this what happens ERASMUS stylee Al? It's like a school disco with more beards... "
] but I dont think she's interested. She's gorgeous! Johanna is her name, no excess hair just the perfect German goddess: tall, blonde, tanned... And if she turns up at LGB when I eventually get round to going there - maybe next week...? well, I'd be surprised and utterly delighted. But she won't, these goddesses always have gorgeous matching men called Fabian.
