Are we biphobic society? or do we fully accept bisexuals? Please tell me cos at the moment the line is very blurred. I've had yet another complaint about bi-phobia within the LGBT.
All I'll say about the most recent complaint is that...
1) Bi people are attracted to members of both genders 2) What they do in their personal lives, is their business 3) It is NOBODY'S right to walk up2 sum1 and start slating them/calling them offensive names/making them explain themselves and their sexuality, because they are with sum1 of the opposite gender. 4) I don't give a **** if the incident happened outside of LGBT safe space, because it involved members of this society, discriminating against another member of this society (who they don't really know well).
So please people just read this and take note because I'm sick to death of incidents like these and find this incident bang outta order. If there are anymore serious complaints made about biphobia, especially incidents like this one, necessary action will be taken, because this behaviour will not be tolerated.
Thanks for taking time to read this.
Nic
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
If anyone saw the Catherine Tate sketch about gingerphobia then it really highlighs how pointless biphobia is. One of the women in the sketch said "she's not a proper ginger, she's strawberry blonde" then they had a big bitch fight, which in my eyes is really pathetic, and therefore biphobia is pretty pathetic aswell. Bisexuals ARE part of the 'gay community' because they they have an attraction (however small) to people of the same sex.
And before anyone mention, yes, i am slightly (very) drunk, but I have strong opinions on the subject even though i'm completely gay.
I'd also like to mention that the exec have brought up numerous incidents of biphobia. Fair enough, from my point of view a little joke (and made clear it is a joke) is acceptable now and then, but the frequency that the exec have mentioned it, it totally unacceptable, so please stop it
barry_m wrote: And before anyone mention, yes, i am slightly (very) drunk, but I have strong opinions on the subject even though i'm completely gay.
I'd also like to mention that the exec have brought up numerous incidents of biphobia. Fair enough, from my point of view a little joke (and made clear it is a joke) is acceptable now and then, but the frequency that the exec have mentioned it, it totally unacceptable, so please stop it
Thank you, Barry. It's very reassuring to know that someone who isn't bisexual finds it totally unacceptable as well. To tell you the truth, if the amount of biphobia continues, you may as well take the 'B' out of 'LGBT' because to be blunt, while I've made great friends, I don't feel comfortable in a supposedly 'safe' space where my sexuality is continually challenged and made fun of.
Please, if anyone has had any experiences or can think of ways which we can stop this happening, let me know as I'm trying to challenge biphobia (and homophobia, of course) within the union as part of the LGBT Assembly.
Its not relevant where it happened, due to content of it and I'd b fuming about the matter, especially if someone felt the need 2 complain regardless of where the incident occured. Especially considering that all parties are members of our society.
any idea's anyone can put forward or bring along 2 an lgbt assembly meeting 2 help challenge biphobia would be great.
In the meantime this incident will be dealt with and I'm personally going to be having words the people involved.
P.S Alice I only take the piss outta u cos u take the piss outta me n I know u well enuff 2 say half the **** I do to u, cos I know u wont get offended bout me saying it. Pregnancy!!!
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
Over the past four years I am sad to say that BiPhobia has been one of the main problems amongst members of the LGBT.
It's a disgrace that those wishing to be accepted for who they are and the decisions they have come to about the socially subversive sexual orientation are the first to, forgive my turn of phrase, swing the handbag at bisexuality, which surely is an as valid sexuality as any other.
I think here are a couple of reasons why some of 'the gays' get so het up about bisexuality. The first is that we are all products of a society which likes clearly defined binaries - men/women, gay/straight, masculine/femine. Rather than the gay/women/feminine being the 'subversive' element it has always been in the past, it has become part of the norm, the universal. Now anything which doesn't adopt itself to one of the binary is subversive, to be feared.
Secondly, many lesbians and gay men toy with the idea of bisexuality as a way of coping with their sexuality in its early realisation. Somehow being bisexual helps please parents and lets you still get away with doing what you want. But often they move away from this notion of bisexuality to confirm that they are simply 'gay'. Therefore, I reckon, many L&G's think that Bisexuality is but a phrase. A moment of transition.
Of course these perceptions of bisexuality are completely misguided. Bisexuality is simply a sexuality that is out there. That is between a binary, somewhere or another.
But interstingly I think, bisexuality relies on the 'binary' in society to exist as a sexuality. So rather than the attraction to 'anyone' that we might presume, it clearly defines its self as being a double-pronged sexuality - attraction to men and women, not anything that might exsist inbetween that.
So, that is why I'd like to think that none of us exist simply in these 'camps' of sexuality. I am neither gay, straight or bisexual. I just 'am. A bit progressive I know. But the labels of sexuality that we use as a society to define ourselves are extremely important. They help us group together and have the ability to 'think' about what sexuality means. But perhaps, one day, we might not have to define who we are in terms of our sexuality and we can just 'be'.
On a practicial level, the society needs to continually address the issue of biphobia. That doesn't mean the committe using it's clout to constantly police everyone. It means all members being vigillant and challengeing the abhorrant views of anyone who think it is their place to generalise and speak about someones unchangeable and integral parts of identity in such a dismissive and narrowminded way.
Seems us liberal lefty gays can be just as prejudice as the rest of society.......
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Johnk
The only freedom that you’ll ever really know
Is written in books from long ago
It makes my blood boil when people who are not bisexual slant bisexual people because, to start with, they don't *know* what being bisexual feels like and therefore can't criticise bisexuality from their own experience, and, as you've put it, if they expect people to respect them for who they are, they should and must show some respect towards the rest of people and not bitch about bisexuals because they're the biggest queens in the world and feel that being gay is the fashionable trend!
Phew! Rant over. And sorry about the occasional homophobia. I was trying to make a point.
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'I've discovered the secret of life. A lot of hard work, a lot of sense of humor, a lot of joy and a whole lot of tra la la.' Kay Thompson
The NUS LGBT Committee are taking more of a stance against bi-phobia 2 & Bethan from NUS LGBT Committee (bisexual officer) has offered to come to Leeds to help with any workshops we run etc. I'll go thru all this at Weds coffee hour
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
I agree with everything that you have said about bisexuality. To be -phobic in any kind of way is totally wrong.
However, this society has big problems when the survey at the top of this page shows that 31.6% of people voted that the B in LGBT stands for 'Biphobic'. Surely this is not a joke? Surely, these people realise that this is not a funny issue? If they do not, or if they do genuinely believe this..... What the f*ck is the matter with them?!?
I am gay and (thankfully) I have never suffered major homophobia. However, the few instances that I did experience it were awful. There have been warnings about biphobia before. I think it is time that the 31.6% of people who claimed that the B in LGBT stands for Biphobia should either shut up or simply leave this society, since they cannot accept all of its members for who they are, nor see what this society stands for.
I agree with everything that you have said about bisexuality. To be -phobic in any kind of way is totally wrong.
However, this society has big problems when the survey at the top of this page shows that 31.6% of people voted that the B in LGBT stands for 'Biphobic'. Surely this is not a joke? Surely, these people realise that this is not a funny issue? If they do not, or if they do genuinely believe this..... What the f*ck is the matter with them?!?
I am gay and (thankfully) I have never suffered major homophobia. However, the few instances that I did experience it were awful. There have been warnings about biphobia before. I think it is time that the 31.6% of people who claimed that the B in LGBT stands for Biphobia should either shut up or simply leave this society, since they cannot accept all of its members for who they are, nor see what this society stands for.
Joe Nagle
I voted that the B in LGBT stands for Biphobia.
I didn't think anyone would interpret voting for that as a gesture making fun of bisexuals. As Alberto correctly observed, I am making a point about how prevalent biphobia really is within our society. I can count the number of times people have made comments about my sexuality on both hands. Yes, I can take a joke from someone who knows me and give as good as I get. However, how can anyone bisexual accept to feel welcome when, for example as I was told on the scene tour, I was asked things like, "oh, do you want the best of both worlds, then," and, "have you actually ever slept with a girl?"
My sexuality is valid, thank you very much. And I hope, as John K said, one day I can just be without having to justify my sexuality to anyone.
see, I interpreted the question in a way that meant i voted for "Bisexuality" to reinforce the fact that that is actually what it stands for, but approaching it from Alice´s interpretation of the question, would have voted the way she did.
sash x
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Three things that mark the Good Man: Truth, Honour and Love
I did vote for 'Biphobia' not because I think it should stand for biphobic, but because I think the society is riddled with Biphobia. I think that is what the poll was asking. Otherwise it might have asked LGBT or LGT.
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Johnk
The only freedom that you’ll ever really know
Is written in books from long ago
I voted bisexual, because I believe that if it stands for biphobia, it simply opens up the fact that it has a right to exist. Which it doesn't. As one or two might know, my sister and a couple of very good friends of mine are bi, and they often tell me of their experiences of being left cold by the rest of the "LGT" community, as it were. I'm afraid I don't understand this. Every member of the LGBT belongs to a group which is prejudiced against by a significant proportion of the country. The fact that any prejudice can exist within it is a fact that I simply don't understand. Yes, there are jokes, the "best of both worlds" being a popular one. But then again, there are also camp, moustachied leather clad images of gay men, and lederhosen dressed butch, shaven haired lesbian jokes. I'm not sure how often these kind of Jim Davidson jokes are used by "LGT" people. Thankfully, most are not biphobic, but I suppose that doesn't alter the hurt when it is experienced. I support this move wholeheartedly, and hope that maybe it will enlighten people's opinions in the future. Steven. xxx
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CRAP? WHAT D'YA MEAN IT'S CRAP? THERES EIGHT BODIES AT THE END AND HE GETS TO SHAG HIS MUM!!
Arsecandle wrote: Did it happen within in an LGBT event etc? If not, then people can say what they want really. (not saying i agree with what was done / said )-- Edited by Arsecandle at 10:28, 2005-11-30
Well, yes, people can say what they want and I am all for free speech. But I'm not going to sit back and let prejudices continue and would like to inform people and possibly let them re-consider their opinions thank you very much.
No, it didn't happen at an LGBT event, but the main thing is that biphobia exists, and it exists among the LG community.
If somebody made a comment that was taken too seriously, I'd agree with you, Steve, but I don't think fighting biphobia outside of the LGBT Society is being patronising.... I think fighting against any type of discrimination, it being biphobia, homophobia, racism, xenophobia (and a chain of sad etceteras) is necessary everywhere.
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'I've discovered the secret of life. A lot of hard work, a lot of sense of humor, a lot of joy and a whole lot of tra la la.' Kay Thompson
AlbyFC wrote: If somebody made a comment that was taken too seriously, I'd agree with you, Steve, but I don't think fighting biphobia outside of the LGBT Society is being patronising.... I think fighting against any type of discrimination, it being biphobia, homophobia, racism, xenophobia (and a chain of sad etceteras) is necessary everywhere.
Too bloody true.
How exactly is trying to inform and fight discrimination of any kind overstepping ones bounds? I think the world would be a pretty sorry place is nobody spoke up.
Arsecandle wrote: Did it happen within in an LGBT event etc? If not, then people can say what they want really. (not saying i agree with what was done / said )-- Edited by Arsecandle at 10:28, 2005-11-30
Regardless of where the incident happened n whether it was on a event or not, it happened to a bisexual member of our society and the discrimination was by members of our society, all of which have paid to join up to the society, which is a social support network for Lesbian, Gay, BISEXUAL and Trans individuals. If people are joining us for social support and to meet/make friends, but then experience discrimination from the supposed friends and then feels isolated from the group, up to the point where its upset them and they've made a complaint about it, I think its justifiable to deal with the incident, especially as it could spill over into events.
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
Guys I feel that it is because we don't really understand the specific situation of Bisexuals with the society and community at large. Can there be any other reason?
I suggest that after exam week, next term, the first week of coffee hour should be a Bi-Awareness week with Info sessions, talks, etc about this situation - Just an idea. That way all who is present is made aware.
Arsecandle wrote: Then it doesn't give you the right to act like someones parents / boss and tell them off. You are overstepping your bounds.
Over stepping your bounds!! I think not. It's just my opinion....... But if an event was running in town, and a white person made racist jokes/comments/whatever to a black or asian person , you would agree that they'd probably get punched. Frankly I cannot see the differnce here.
It someone had made comments outta Uni premises, about Bisexuality/Biphobia to me I woulda knocked them into the middle off next week.
Irish Dom wrote: Guys I feel that it is because we don't really understand the specific situation of Bisexuals with the society and community at large. Can there be any other reason?
I suggest that after exam week, next term, the first week of coffee hour should be a Bi-Awareness week with Info sessions, talks, etc about this situation - Just an idea. That way all who is present is made aware.
D xx.
Thats a good idea
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
I wasnt really aware of the existence of bi-phobia.
And quite frankly, dont see a point in one, and thinking maybe the society might be slighly overreacting over on the whole subject?
It might just have been a joke, taken too seriously.. If someone makes jokes, even the rude ones, about gays, I personally wouldnt get too offended, id just laugh over it...
I had started a thread on this very forum regarding my curiousity to bisexuality.. whcih just entailed asking questions about it. hope noone took that as an offense.
But if this remark made to a bisexual member was intended to be offensive and rude, then we should make a stand for it.
I just keep thinking that this offense was mayb a harmless joke gone wrong.. mainly cuz i personally cant believe there would be people who would have anything against bi-sexual people..
I think it's disgusting that someone should be forced to explain themselves like that.
Everyone's sexuality is personal to them and people have no right to attack them because of it.
Just let people do whatever (or whoever) makes them happy. Does it really affect your life if a bisexual member of the LGBT has an opposite sex partner etc?
Live and let live.
Bisexuals face many of the same problems as gays and I think we should support them.
yongee wrote: I wasnt really aware of the existence of bi-phobia.
I just keep thinking that this offense was mayb a harmless joke gone wrong.. mainly cuz i personally cant believe there would be people who would have anything against bi-sexual people..
Well then people need to wise up. I have any given number of bisexual friends who have come to coffee hours and left after half an hour because of biphobia. I´ve seen people heckled by other LGBT members for being bi. And by the way, it´s only a joke if the other person takes it in humour. If they feel offended, then something´s wrong with your joke technique. Or your an ****.
There IS a problem and we DO need to sort it - bi people are not "confused". They´re people. Get used to it.
Sasha x
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Three things that mark the Good Man: Truth, Honour and Love
Simple as, if we are cutting out biphobia in the society that we are cutting out all jokes that could be misinterpreted as biphobic, as they wont help us tackle the issue seriously.
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I reserve... I reserve... I have a reservation... I HAVE a reservation.. What do you mean its not in the computer?
Look, how about this: we agree that there´s biphobia in the society. We´ve pretty much already proven that, right (i´m assuming people are nodding heads at this point)?
Okay. We agree there´s biphobia OUTSIDE of the society, right? (agree with the nice terrorist, children...)
Right. So, the point is, what do people want to do about it?
That would probably be more constructive than all of us getting angry at each other, which seems to be happening an awful lot on the boards lately, including myself. I think it´s the weather myself, but then it´s so easy to blame everything on global warming!!
Right, so, yeah. What are people going to do? Whilst people think about that, I´m off for a cuppa, and perhaps someone could light a few scented candles to ease the tension in here. xxx
Arsecandle wrote: There's so much hypocrisy in this society it's unbelievable.
The amount of people who joke about this stuff and then 2 seconds later get on their high horse......god.
i'm afraid i that i am going to have to agree wholeheartedly about this, the thing is that this society is getting beyond a joke when it comes to crossing the line. i have been present on more than ten occasions when even members of the committee have made jokes about bisexuality, transgendered people and other things that we are generally supposed to be against. the thing is i have even been known made to make jokes that can be considered to be 'off' in some sort of way.
i know that this issue is a hot one especially when it comes to the actual bi members of the society but it seems that the people who are becoming enraged about this are precisely the ones who are making jokes of this nature in the first place. the fact that these jokes are done in jest is not exactly setting a good example for those who are not too familiar with the rules on this.
you know i love you all but here are some people who seriously need to have a look at our their own behaviour before they start going after those who have upset them.
p.s. if there is anyone who has in anyway taken offence at anything i have said in this post i would be very happy if instead of bringing it up further on this thread come and see me personally and we can talk about it.
-- Edited by inlowercase at 18:20, 2005-12-06
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don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
THE PERSON IT AFFECTED, HAD BEEN QUESTIONED ABOUT THEIR SEXUALITY AND WHY THEY WERE WITH A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX, THIS WASN'T IN A JOKEY WAY!
If thats acceptable, please let me know so I know to tell all future complaints about similar circumstances to piss off cos its what they should accept. I've spoke to everyone involved and its been sorted. But for future reference, questioning people about their sexuality and putting them in a situation where they feel uncomfortable about this is not acceptable.
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Nic - Union Council LGBT Assembly Chair
Contact me at - lgbt.assembly@leeds.ac.uk / nicturner_85@hotmail.com
inlowercase wrote: Arsecandle wrote: There's so much hypocrisy in this society it's unbelievable.
The amount of people who joke about this stuff and then 2 seconds later get on their high horse......god.
i'm afraid i that i am going to have to agree wholeheartedly about this, the thing is that this society is getting beyond a joke when it comes to crossing the line. i have been present on more than ten occasions when even members of the committee have made jokes about bisexuality, transgendered people and other things that we are generally supposed to be against. the thing is i have even been known made to make jokes that can be considered to be 'off' in some sort of way.
i know that this issue is a hot one especially when it comes to the actual bi members of the society but it seems that the people who are becoming enraged about this are precisely the ones who are making jokes of this nature in the first place. the fact that these jokes are done in jest is not exactly setting a good example for those who are not too familiar with the rules on this.
you know i love you all but here are some people who seriously need to have a look at our their own behaviour before they start going after those who have upset them.
p.s. if there is anyone who has in anyway taken offence at anything i have said in this post i would be very happy if instead of bringing it up further on this thread come and see me personally and we can talk about it.-- Edited by inlowercase at 18:20, 2005-12-06
*Agreed*
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Comes across all shy and coy, just another nancy boy.
even though i'm completely gay.
