Well...I took the test and found that Id only failed ten of the commandments. Fortunately, I believe in 11 commandments, although I can't remember what the last is... So, I think Im safe.
Actually, its a really, really well constructed website, despite being filled with single-minded pious crap. Maybe the union should take notice...
On the bright side, hell might not be that bad. After all, Ive been to Oldham... xx
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CRAP? WHAT D'YA MEAN IT'S CRAP? THERES EIGHT BODIES AT THE END AND HE GETS TO SHAG HIS MUM!!
Steve and Dave, the pair of you are cheeky bitches, Oldham is a great place and i am proud to be from Oldham. You may slag it off all you want but all i will say is look in your own backyard before slagging of other peoples towns.
Wow! You only broke six of the commandments? Which four have you kept? In fact, according to that website, no-one is without sin, and to suggest that youve kept to any of 'God's moral standards', youre a sinner automatically. So you can't win really... The only way that one can save their soul is to accept youre a sinner and plead forgiveness 24/7. Christianity eh, donchajustluvit?
By the way when I first logged on I thought it was just a mad evangelical website, slagging everyone off. But, it seems that they do reserve a special place for us hommer sexuals. Check it out, together with their views on Judaism and tolerance. Fun, fun, fun.
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CRAP? WHAT D'YA MEAN IT'S CRAP? THERES EIGHT BODIES AT THE END AND HE GETS TO SHAG HIS MUM!!
Was just looking through the site, this bit tickled me (can't be bothered to talk about homosexuality, but needless to say it made as much sense as what follows):
"How does the young-earth theory explain that we can see stars millions of light-years away? How would the light have reached us?"
Since God made the sun, moon, and stars "to give light upon the earth" (Genesis 1:14–18), those lights would be immediately visible on earth. They fulfilled their purpose on the day God spoke them into being, because He "saw that it was good." No doubt God also made Adam as a fully-grown man—perhaps with the appearance of being 30 years old, even though he was only minutes old. Likewise, herbs and trees were already mature and fruit-bearing, to provide a ready supply of food. That would be the case with all of His creation.
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Mikexx -------------------------------
Go baby, go go! We're right behind you!
http://www.mikehigginstranslation.co.uk
well i've broken all of them, according to the ****ty paraphrasing on that website. i am damned.
at least the central heating never breaks down in hell. and who wants a poncy pair of wings? and stringed instruments give you horrible hard fingers.
can't wait for that lovely boat ride across the river styx... and there'll be loads of cool people to talk to in hell. well, not cool people, but people who it'd be cool to talk to. who wants to ask mother teresa about which moisturiser she used? i'd rather ask hitler what really drove him to kill millions of people. and jack the ripper, myra hindley, etc...
plus george bush will be there one day and i can kick seven shades of 5hite out of him for what he's done to the people of this world.
yes, i'm going to book my place in hell right now by doing something bad. i think i'll go and fart on john's pillow or something...
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burn down our home, RAPE OUR DEAD MOUTHS. Just as long as I don't have to hear anymore of your disgusting babble
I took their test, I am going to Hell, and here is the email they received from me, enjoy :)
I am an 18 year old university student in Leeds and, as an educated individual, I have a few comments to make about your quiz that appears at the start of your website.
Firstly, The Ten Commandments. I have a great deal of respect for the Church. I feel that many people in the church have tried to do good. However, I feel that it through their own spirit that they have done this and not through the influence of the church - good thrives every where regardless of religion.
I have some issues to raise as to your version of the commandments.
1. If I am to worship no other god, by your definition, then a young girl who has a poster of David Beckham on her wall is going to go to hell.
2. If, in my youth, I choose a beneficent God over a wrathful one then I am going to go to Hell.
3. If I am being tortured and in my confusion I cry out in pain and the name of God is what I cry then I am going to Hell.
4. If I work seven days a week in a society that pays me less than the minimum wage, because if I don't then I will starve, then I will go to Hell.
5. If my father rapes me and my mother beats me and I do not honour them for such a childhood, then I will go to Hell.
6. If someone murders my sister in cold blood and I momentarily feel hatred towards them then I will go to Hell.
7. If I am raped I will go to Hell. If I cannot marry then I will go to Hell. If I am forced into marriage this is preferable to not marrying. Marrying and staying married to a husband who beats me is adviseable. Am I getting all this clear?
8. If I steal to survive because I have no money to eat, I will go to Hell.
9. If I lie to my child saying that her father did not beat me then I will go to Hell.
10. If I am poor and starving and beaten and downtrodden and for a moment desire a better life then I will go to Hell.
If this is how you see the commandments then I am glad I am not a woman in Africa, or a child on the streets, or a relative of a murder victim, or a victim of rape because otherwise I would be sure to go to Hell.
How can you equate lying with murder? How can you grade sin? This concept is ridiculous. The commandments must be black and white or not at all otherwise they do not work - which is precisely why they do not work because life is made of shades of gray and trying to preach that this is not the case is no way to recruit people to your religion.
I am not wrong for not believing in your God - I beleived in him once but it is precisely because of people like you that I no longer can believe in a church that condemns me for things beyond my control.
So, you ask if I am a good person or worthy of going to Heaven? Well, I answer, if your God is as you paint him and if Heaven is filled with people like you then I don't want to go to Heaven. Leave me to rot in Hell with the Humans.
I would be interested in hearing your reply to my argument. I look forward to hearing from you, Thankyou for your time, sincerely, Elizabeth Finn
Ooooooooh let's all write letters to God!!! Good idea
Dear God, my name is Emma, but I guess you already know that!! I would like to know why you gave me a bent toe? And why you made me gay, which you must have done because you made everything right? I'm too pretty for a life of turmoil. Although the fat ankles, not that funny a joke actually. Plus, what's the deal with rain? I'll never get to meet you because I am evil, I worship shoes, not you, but yeah, if you get this letter then I do know where you live, and to be honest, if heaven is on the moon [cos that's where I thought he lived] then I'm glad I sold my soul. And living with the vicar? Do you see a smile? And she's a makkem, steady on mate, let's not get carried away, i haven't killed anyone you know!! In the words of dizzee rascal; Fix Up, Look Sharp! Yours Emma, or as my friends call me, Lesbos!!! ha ha
btw, v valid points made by lizzie, the whole thing winds me up too much to even think about to be fair, so I thought I'd jus be selfish and write to God instead. what would you tell him?
hello. this is my first letter to you so please don't get angry if i'm supposed to address you as something other than, erm, god. i was thinking maybe 'dear heavenly father', but you must get bored of people kissing your ass 365 days a year, so i hope you don't mind first name terms. you can call me dave.
well i suppose you're kind of the divine version of jim'll fix it, so i was wondering if you could sort something out for me. i suppose it's a bit much to ask for world peace when we were made in your image and so have free will and all that, but i have an exam tomorrow which i probably should have revised more for, and it'd be just marvellous if you could give us a clue as to what's on the paper. i know you move in mysterious ways, but if you could move a little over in this direction, then i will make more of an effort myself to bring about world peace. well maybe not world peace, but, erm, i'll carry on trying to be super nice to people and bring peace into their lives.
thanks a lot. you're doing a cracking job, so keep up the good work,
lots of love
dave xx
p.s. i really have tried to revise, but i've had so much to do recently.
p.p.s. any chance of a signed photo?
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burn down our home, RAPE OUR DEAD MOUTHS. Just as long as I don't have to hear anymore of your disgusting babble
I agree - what's with the rubber wall paper??!! Are you somehow implying we are crazy because we poke fun at a website that is so ridiculous it just cries out to be poked fun at?? Hmm...
that's my family y'know...
