Actually, they WERE relationships, though agreed, not any we would recognise officially today (cos pederasty has a different meaning now)...Achilles and Patroclus were devoted to each other their entire lives until patroclus was killed at Troy, and Achilles went mad in his grief for him, slaughtering his killer Hector out of revenge, and using many boats to provide the wood for the funeral pyre...that is strong commitment to me, not to mention that they were buried together, which is an even stronger sign of devotion.

Zeus is well renowned for having many a fling with shepherd boys such as Ganymede, that is true, but to elevate him to Olympus, to be the Cup Bearer of the Gods? No higher honour could be given to a mortal from a god!

Pan as well was known to have many relationships with shepherd boys, as well as flings.

Hadrian was an emperor of Rome who was so in love with the young Antinous that he devoted almost his every waking moment to him (a fact criticised in classical texts by detractors who disliked their relationship and thought it something of a stain on Rome´s reputation and Hadrian´s ability to run the empire). Before the greedy christians decided to overthrow Rome and wipe them out, Hadrian had statues and temples built throughout the entire empire once Antinous died in the Nile (don´t know if he was pushed, suicided, or just fell in). A temple to Antinous was even found in Hadrian´s private Villa, the only surviving, intact temple and statuary to Antinous. Deifying your lover - THAT is love.

Alexander and Hephaestion - Alexander repeatedly denied his family´s requests to marry, out of love for Hephaestion, only acceding to these wishes in later years. Hephaestion went EVERYWHERE with him, and he was still by his side after marrying. Like Achilles, Alexander went partially mad when Hephaestion died, dying himself only a couple of months later, possibly out of grief, possibly because of poisoning. They even made a pilgrimage to Achilles and Patroclus´graves, dancing round them naked (attributed to Pindar, I think this is) to honour the love that they shared.

The Athenians Harmonius and Aristogeiton are credited by classical scholars with overthrowing the tyrant Hyppias and establishing democracy, because their love was so strong, it could even bring down a tyrant. Thucydides says bluntly that Aristogeiton "was his [Harmodius´] lover and possessed him."

Bein a sort of student of classical mythology, I think it´s wrong to say they "were just sexual flings". These are people who were iconised, their relationships - by whatever name - reified and highly prized by honest, decent, socially acceptable men. They were Heroes, and many men sought what these heroes and Gods had.

All in all, it wasn´t just "philia", it was something more. Look up "erastes" and "eromenos", or even the greek "gymnasia"...gay love by any other name, hasn´t changed so much!

Sash
xxx